As a child, I thought there were three kinds of adults. The bad kind (the sort of bad grown-ups that went to prison for stealing and stuff like that), the good kind (like the Wal-Mart sticker greeters and other adults that I didn't know) and the really good kind (like my parents and their friends). I knew without a shadow of a doubt that the really good kind of adult never did wrong. If they were angry it was justly over someone else's wrong. They were completely selfless, always knew the right answer and never failed to punish me when I'd done something wrong.
Imagine my shock when I grew older and realized that there were many more wrong things that could be done than the ones I knew. There were lots of things you could do even accidentally that would make other people hurt or angry with you. The subtleties of manipulation, insults and exclusion that I began to understand were mind-blowing; almost as much as the fact that "really good" adults actually committed these wrongs. Now, as a young teenager growing toward adulthood, my view of adults had changed. I was planning on becoming the "really good" kind of adult that never did anything wrong; now that kind of adult doesn't exist. Suddenly, adulthood wasn't an arrival where you instantaneously become the kind of adult you were raised to be, but merely an extension of childhood where you are bigger and more grown-up, but still struggle with doing wrong. Eventually, you are no longer under your parents authority and are responsible for making yourself do right... and if you should happen to do something really wrong, then the police would put you in jail.
Even at 19, some of my childhood ideals are still being crushed by the pettiness of most of the adults in this world; yes, even the ones that my childhood self would have considered "really good." But all this only serves to remind me that God is the fulfillment of all my ideals of the perfect "adult." In childhood, your parent serves as the "all-knowing" governing authority; in adulthood, God is the one who reminds you to apologize for your wrongs, and loves you as His child, even through all your disobedience and childish tantrums.
Timothy's Twelfth Month!
5 years ago