Thoughts on Forgiveness

As a child, I was compelled by my parents to ask forgiveness for offenses committed against my siblings. I was very rebellious, and usually repeated the required phrase in as saucy and sarcastic a tone as I could get away with. The make-up hug and kiss were harder to skew, but I did my best. A sad comparison to me, all of my siblings were much better at asking forgiveness, and giving it when I was forced to ask for it. However, my parents' training paid off even on their most rebellious and defiant child, and now even I earnestly try to forgive and apologize for my own wrongs whenever the Spirit prompts me... and when I know good and well that I need to... (not that I'm perfect at that or anything...)

Recently I've been pondering how important forgiveness and humble apologies are for any relationship. Christians can get angry, say hurtful things, hold onto grudges or nurse wounded feelings just like others, but if we allow ourselves to be humbled, sincerely apologize, and forgive the other person whether or not they apologize themselves, we could easily save a badly damaged relationship. I don't know about everyone else, but when someone hurts me, it is very hard for me to forgive them before they apologize... I do, and have, and will, but when they come to me and honestly apologize, it is as if the incident had never happened, and sometimes accepted apologies and renewed forgiveness create an even stronger bond than the one that was strained by the hurt.

I used to think that this verse applied only to angelic people who were never angered, and who could keep peace before an argument even started. I wrote myself off as being incapable of being a peacemaker when I was very young. Now I think that being a peacemaker has nothing to do with whether or not you started the problem, but whether or not you are willing to do everything you can to make it right later.
"Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God." -Matthew 5:9

Thoughts like this I store up my "mental" hope chest... every time I put it into practice in my current life, I am, of course, trying to heal my relationships with my family members, but I am also storing up experience for married life. I think I have no false delusions about how very often I will need these peace-making skills...

~Lizzie

Lessons through pain

Well, as any readers who read this blog last year will remember, one of our cats got really sick with kidney failure and almost died. The doctors didn't think she'd make it through the night, so we went to see her thinking we were saying goodbye. But we prayed for her, and the next morning the doctors were amazed at how well she was doing. We took her home, and she started acting like her normal self... chasing her tail around, scratching on mirrors and generally making a sweet nuisance of herself.

But after a few months, she went back into a decline and died October 24. Not quite a year after getting out of the hospital.

It's amazing how much pain and stress it put our whole family through for the past year. Personally, it was a very hard time for me. I know she was "only" a cat, but she was definitely the sweetest one of our three (although also capable of being the most annoying...) and this was my first up-close experience of having to see an innocent creature suffering. I can't imagine how horrible it would be to be that close to a person suffering that severely (or worse).

It also put a good deal of strain on my relationship with God. I didn't and still don't understand why He "healed" her a year ago in the hospital just to let her suffer for another year and die of kidney failure anyway. Was it MY fault? Did I not have enough faith? Did we "undo" her healing by treating her with medication like the doctors told us to?

Or, the worst thought of all: did He heal her just to teach me all the hard lessons I learned this year watching her die?

Of the many lessons I've learned this year, the main two and the only ones I'm going to mention are these:
I've learned to trust God, no matter what. Even when it seems like there can be no possible good, I know that "all things work together for good to those who love God and are called according to His purpose." I don't have to understand what He's doing to trust Him.
The other thing I've learned is to tell God exactly what I'm feeling. He can handle my doubts, my fears, my pain, my tears and even my anger. And through difficult circumstances like these I can either turn my back on God, or use it to grow closer to him. And this life will seem so short compared to eternity that all the pain I feel in my entire life will seem less than the pain of stubbing a toe.

All these thoughts had been growing in the back of my mind, but the Jeremy Camp concert at the state fair was when it all came completely into focus and I had one of those mind-blowing moments of understanding. And that's when I finally let go of everything I'd been holding onto. Whatever else God may have done through one little cat for the rest of my family, I know He used the situation greatly in my heart, and I'm thankful. Even through the pain that I still feel, I can praise Him. He is good, and His mercy endures forever.

And even though she was just a cat, I believe Shadow is in heaven now, and I will get to see her again, just like all the Christian people that have and will get to heaven before me.

~Lizzie

Over the weekend...

We went Goodwilling! We were going to go yardsaling, but it rained. No loss! At Goodwill, we found two matching little corner shelves/bookcases, a large, rustic breadbox, a "Golden Pie" collection pie plate with a decorative recipe for peach pie on the bottom, a set of six lovely glass dessert plates (not good for company, but there are six people in our family to enjoy them) and an assortment of much-needed winter clothes for my little brothers. I also found two cute little heart-shaped wall-mount candle-holders that are going in my hope chest. I think that's where the "Golden Pie" plate is going too.

The little corner bookshelves were assembled and placed into two parallel corners of our dining room, and instantly filled with pottery pieces from my mom's Seagrove pottery collection.

The rustic breadbox is currently in use holding three loaves of bread and any opened chip bags, with plans for making it less rustic in the future... hopefully sometime this week, if the weather really is as nice as it's been forecast, I'll get outside and paint it white. And then Sarah has agreed to paint some sort of design and maybe a Bible verse on the lid.

Then, on Sunday, Mom altered some curtains we got at a yard sale recently and I attempted to mount the curtain rod... I've done it before, but these windows were higher and I was at a bad angle for drilling and screwing AND I had the really heavy corded drill/screwdriver because our two battery operated ones are both dead (*sigh*). My Uncle Joel kindly finished it for me. And now we have some cute green and white checkered curtains hanging in our breakfast room! They give it a bright, airy side-walk-cafe feel.

And since I know all my readers hang on my every word and live for my day-to-day life stories, I've decided to create suspense and not post pictures until I get satisfactorily clamorous pleadings.

~Lizzie

(Actually, I just don't have time to take the pictures yet... although I won't bother to post them without requests... =P )

Fair day #2

We went back to the fair with several friends to see the 10th Avenue North and Jeremy Camp concert. We got to the fair about 2, got some food, then the guys wanted to check out a crumpled SUV. We all admired Sarah's art entry. Then we went to the bike show. Unfortunately, the schedule was printed wrong, so we killed an hour going to the Village of Yesteryear, and then went back to the bike show. After the bike show, we went over to the expo building for the Dazzling Mills Family show. It wasn't quite time for the show, so we walked around and looked at the exhibits in the Expo center.

The show was great!


Vic eating a fried pickle.



They're homeschoolers! Our entirely homeschooled group screamed and cheered when this was announced, drawing the comment from Mr. Mills that "Well, THAT'S not obvious!"

After the Dazzling Mills Family, we went to ride some rides. About half the group wanted to ride Fireball, so we all got in line, and then they closed the ride. A few people rode the only real roller coaster. And then we had to split. Because of a very important Hawks baseball game, half of our group had to leave. The rest of us went to the concert.

The concert was AWESOME! The end.

After the concert we rode the ferris wheel...

From the top!

From the ferris wheel, I took a picture of the ride next on our list: the swings!

Sarah and Jessica, in their seats...

Yep, I took my camera! I like this shot, too...

Then we headed home, exhausted. So much fun! I love the fair.

~Lizzie

Introducing!

Two nameless models. If you remember the sewing business that my friend Kara and I tried to start last year, this is the booster attempt with a focus on: doll clothes.


They are pictured here with our first two attempts. Kara's is the peach dress, and mine is the maroon. They won 3rd and 2nd place in the state fair, respectively.

The red head came with a name already (I hate that) and it is NOT staying. "Stacey" is so "Barbie" when it comes to dolls.

I love her red hair, and green eyes, but her face is plain (she reminds me of an early American Girl doll, and for all their popularity I've never thought that they were very nice dolls) and her coloring unfortunately unrealistic for a red head. The pricing for this doll was MUCH better than American Girl prices (very cheap with the coupon), though, so I am happy with her.

The Madame Alexander dolls I found while researching on the internet. Her vinyl upper body is nice for lower neckline and thin-strap tops, as seen in the picture.


I was very excited to find that they are sometimes available at Costco beginning in October for the holiday season. However, over the phone, Costco informed us that they would not be carrying them this year. The next week, Mom surprised me with her after a trip to Costco! The employee was apparently mistaken.

Her skin is beautifully creamy, her eyes a rich chocolate and her hair is unbelievably silky. She also has the ability to tilt her head, as well as looking up and down (like my Elsie doll). American Girl and the Springfield collection dolls (my red head) can only turn their heads from side to side. Amazingly enough, she was also fairly inexpensive (much, much less than American Girl!)

Suggestions for names are quite welcome! I'm thinking of Flanna for the red head and Rowena for the brunette...

~Lizzie

Fair day #1!

My family went to the fair this past Friday. We're usually the type who arrive at the fair at 9:30 or 10am, and stay all day. This time, we didn't make it there until 2, but we still stayed for the fireworks. And I took a grand total of 4 very blurry pictures while we were waiting to ride the ferris wheel.

First we checked out all our family entries... various 2nds, 3rds, 4ths, 5ths and Honorable Mentions were awarded to some. In between checking entries, we got some corn on the cob... it's tradition. Anyway, the last entry we got to was my doll dress ... it got 2nd... even though it was the only one in the catagory... apparently the judges didn't think it was good enough for a first, even if it was the only one... I found that pretty funny! And kinda sad...

After we checked all the entries we went to take our traditional picture on the invisible bench. Then we went and rode rides, ate our traditional gyros at John the Greek, and rode more rides... David got me to go on Freak Out (I think that's what it's called...) with him this year, and it was actually pretty fun! There's also a new swings ride! Instead of the swings just going in a circle, you went around AND up really high (I'm not explaining it very well). It was pretty neat.

Then we walked around the Expo center... mostly because it was so COLD outside, but Sarah and I enjoyed seeing all the animals... I especially enjoyed seeing the calves, chicks, ducklings and I think they were baby miniature donkeys... they were all cute, anyway. After that, we rode the ferris wheel and froze... it was so cold up high, whenever the ferris wheel got to the bottom it felt warm.

Then we got some hot cider and hung around the "Heritage Circle" watching the blacksmith and sitting by the tobacco barn fires while we waited for the fire works. About 15 minutes before the fireworks went off, we went through gate 8 before they closed it for the fireworks and settled into our traditional fireworks watching spot. We watch from the parking lot just out side the gate, and then try and get to our car and get out before the crowd of "after fireworks" leavers start leaving.

It was so much fun. I always enjoy going to the fair. The bad part is Sarah picked up a cold, and I've got a little bit of something too... I'm not coughing as much as she is though, I just don't feel very energetic, and I have a scratchy feeling in my throat.

Hopefully we will recover quickly, because we're supposed to be going back to the fair this Friday to see the 10th Avenue North and Jeremy Camp concert with some of our friends...

~Lizzie

Please don't bring your issues to my pity party...

Many times, when I am frustrated with something, I will try to comfort myself with the thought that someday, *I* will do it differently! My children will always be obedient, my kitchen always clean and organized and my household will flow like a merry fairy-tale...

Hahaha.

If I can't be patient now, having my own kids won't make it easier. Maybe my future home won't have the same irritations that I face now, but there will still be things to test my character. If I am not content now, there is no reason I will be content later. I will always be looking toward the future, waiting for that moment when every piece in my world falls into place...

And it finally sank into my head. Years of hearing that you must be content in all things, and it took 18 years for me to get it. But I think that I can truthfully say that I got it now! That does NOT mean that I am always content, but now, rather than wallowing in my pity party and wistfully dreaming of that "perfect" future, I remind myself that where I am now is a part of His plan, and I am meant to learn from my current circumstances.

And really, what do I have to not be content about? It's not as if my circumstances are very difficult! God has taken care of my family. We are all together, we have a house with running water, food to eat, clothes to wear, two cars, a grand piano and several Bibles. When I remember all that I have, and what some in this world do not have, I am ashamed that I could ever be discontent.

"Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content." Philippians 4:11

~Lizzie