Have you ever been hungry and nauseous at the same time?

I'm sitting here wrapped in a quilt, feeling hot and cold by turns. I've been in bed almost all morning, and I'm tired of laying there when it doesn't make me feel any better. I have decided to push aside polite rules and my own embarrassment to share with you something that I think everyone should know about. I won't make it as much of a TMI post as it could be, but it will definitely be more TMI than I usually am. So there's your warning.

Some girls need to know that all girls don't have their "time" as easily as they do, so that they can sympathize. Other girls need to know that they are not alone in their suffering. I used to try to suffer through, and push myself to live a normal day. I feel horribly lazy to have a "sick" day for something that healthy women are SUPPOSED to have for around 30 years of their life, but the truth is that this pain is real and it shouldn't be ignored. (Although it is also not natural, and it should be treated.)

Guys should know what this feminine "sickness" is like for girls... your mom, sister or wife will appreciate your sympathy even if she has it "easy." And if you're grossed out or don't want to hear about it, I recommend that you either never get married, or just get over it.

The medical term for it is Dysmenorrhea. Their description, however, comes nowhere near close to the excruciating pain I feel. It feels like there is a monster hand twisting and knotting my insides, and slowing pulling my insides inside-out. The slightest movement of something as remote as my toes gives causes a deepening in the pain. Breathing hurts. Lying down doesn't help much. There aren't words to describe this unique torture, so I won't try.

My whole body aches, and even without the horrific cramps, the ache would keep me from resting comfortably. My muscles feel heavy and slack. I'm shaking, and if I try to stand up, or move my head to fast, I'll get dizzy.

I'm nauseous, and I have stabbing hunger pains. From previous experience, I know that it's better to be nauseous and hungry than to eat something and then fight throwing it up. Eventually the hunger pains fade anyway... if you're hungry long enough, the hunger goes away.

If I stay active, I will eventually get a hot flash immediately followed by a cold sweat. Then the blood will drain from my face, and if I don't sit down, I will faint. I've only fainted once, fortunately.

From that point, my symptoms usually start fading. It usually only lasts a day for me, but for some it can last as long as a week.

Doctors will usually prescribe the Pill. The pill actually causes normal female fertility to temporarily cease, including menstruation. The placebo week is fake, to make users feel comfortable that they aren't completely interfering with their body's natural processes. When in actuality, they are. (Bad idea.)

Red Raspberry leaf is a natural hormone balancing herb. I've been taking it religiously for about 2 months, and it has helped a lot. It hasn't helped as much this time, but I still feel better than I usually feel. I hope that Red Raspberry is the answer, and eventually this pain will be a vague memory for me, which is why I decided to write this post while I still know what it feels like.

I hope I didn't disturb you too much, and that this was helpful for someone.

~Lizzie

*glare* Did YOU steal my diary?

I marched into my brothers' bedroom and gave them my most intimidating stare, silently, until I had their full attention. Joel lowered his thick novel and David asked, "What?" I pursed my lips. "Did you guys take my diary?"

They looked at me and started laughing. I wasn't sure if they were guilty, or if they thought that was the most ridiculous idea they'd ever heard. However stereotypical diary-stealing brothers may be, my brothers, first and foremost, would probably be bored out of their minds if they could even read my cursive, and secondly, wouldn't invade my privacy even if it would be interesting. Still, they were more likely than my sister and parents, and I'd already checked everywhere that I could have left it.

Joel and David were still rolling on their beds laughing, Joel gasping, "I... can't... breathe!!!" when Sarah walked in. "What's so funny?"By this time, I was trying to stifle my own laughter. "Did YOU take my diary?" Sarah instantly started laughing. If I didn't know better, I would think they were all in on it, but they know enough about my thoughts to know that my diary would be redundant to them.

Sarah followed me when I went to check if Mom had seen it. After Mom affirmed that she hadn't taken it, Sarah asked, "Did you even know she HAS a diary?" To which Mom admitted that she didn't.

Daddy is already asleep, so he's the only un-investigated suspect... I just can't figure out what happened to it! It must have been me... but I only write in it in one place, and I only keep it in one place, and I looked both, and in between isn't a very far distance either... quite frustrating.

And I just wanted to copy down an interesting passage I just read.

~Lizzie

On my schedule this year...

Monday: piano lesson and student-teaching/assisting with some younger students

Tuesday: Swimming, Broadway Dance and Theatre class.

Wednesday: Swimming, water polo, possibly Adv. Acting (not decided yet) and Radical Wednesday (Wednesday night church meeting).

Thursday: Swimming

Friday: Teaching my own piano students.

Throw in school, and my siblings' activities like band, basketball and baseball and it makes for a fuller schedule than it appears.

For my "super" senior year, I'm doing business math, Human Biology, Spanish (still...) and an assortment of history, writing and literature books. For the first time, I get to choose what I'd like to do, instead of what I need to graduate! The beginning of school is always exciting, with new books and the prospect of interesting things to learn, but the excitement usually fades very quickly for me. This year I anticipate enjoying my "school" work much more. Mostly because I don't feel like it IS school, since I'm learning things that will be useful and interesting for me!

Along with school-type books, I've also selected several books on Christianity, health, etc. to read as a part of school this year... an idea that I got from Meredith. =) I began with Stepping Heavenward on Sunday, and finished it Monday in the car as we drove to Wilmington to visit my Nana. I've never been able to read in the car without feeling sick before, so I've either outgrown it, or the book was just so engrossing that I didn't feel sick... whatever is was, I REALLY enjoyed Stepping Heavenward!

I'm also adjusting my sleeping schedule so that I go to bed earlier, and get up earlier. When I was younger I didn't understand why "early to bed, early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise," but now I realize that you get so much more productive work done when you get up early. It truly gives you more DAY time, and as my late evenings are usually spent in some unproductive activity like TV or computer, I think rising early is an important habit for me to form. It is also healthier, because 10pm-2am are the best hours of sleep, and if you get those hours of sleep you can spend less time sleeping, but still wake up feeling refreshed and energized.

I'm so excited about everything this school year may hold!

~Lizzie