Fragile dreams

All my life so far, I've looked forward to when I would finally get married and have children. It has always been my goal. Ever since I was around 10, I have planned nearly every aspect of my the life I want to have once I'm married: the kind of house I want (a cute little farm house with space for a vegetable garden and extreme amounts of flowers), the way my days will go, how many children we'll have and how we'll train our children. So far I think the only thing I left entirely up to God was the man.

It was only recently that it hit me: perhaps I am naively imagining an impossible dream. I'm just a silly girl, gazing starry-eyed into a romantic fantasy that's unmarred by reality. Eventually, my shiny, happy future will shatter like a delicate glass into 10 million pieces. The disillusionment will cast a gray hue over all my broken plans and my former hopes will be a bright mockery of the cold, hard truth.

Or maybe not. Isn't there a chance that God has planned a Godly man of character to marry me? Is it impossible for me to be a firm, but gentle, loving and disciplining mother? Am I not capable of making a lovely home for my family? Is it too much to ask that my girls have a meek and quiet spirit, with gentle feminity? That my boys be strong leaders, kind and loving to their sisters and show honesty, diligence and intelligence in everything they do? Should I not hope to one day have a joyful, loving family with obedient and thankful children, led by a hard-working spiritual man?

Could there be a lovely, simple life in my future?

~Lizzie