The End of 2009

It is usually the practice at the end of a year to reflect on the past year, see what you wish you could change and then come up with appropriate "New Year's Resolutions" to help you towards that goal of a "better you." Or something like that. I have given up on New Years Resolutions because anything associated with New Years Resolutions is inevitably given up before the end of January.

I reflect on the past year, and look forward to the New Year. I also think of things that I hope to have accomplished by the END of the next year; rather than some repetitive task that I must do every day or fail, I come up with more long term goals, and strive to be as diligent as I can in completing or following them.

Last year, my list was:

Long-term Goals for the year:
Get on a better sleep schedule. (I kinda did... for a few months. It hasn't been successful since Thanksgiving, though. Something to continue in the next year!)

Improve my cooking skills, especially in areas that I don't enjoy. (This was definitely successful, especially since the goal was to "improve" not "become a world-famous chef" but also something I will continue to focus on)

Find some way of earning income. (I have 3 piano students, and it's earning me enough to cover some of my expenses. If I end up an old maid, I would likely make enough money to at least not be a burden to my parents, and hopefully enough to support them if necessary... still looking into other possibilities though.)

Improve my singing ability. (Um, no. Not really. I feel closer to confident in my ability to harmonize... a little.)

One-time projects:
Finish redecorating the bathroom. (No... not a good idea financially.)

Finish setting up my sewing area. (Yes!)

Finish sewing the shirts Kara, Jess and I began last year. (No... but that should be taken off, because it's not MY fault! I keep waiting for both of them to be available at the same time... I'm beginning to wonder how we found the time to start them in the first place! =P )

Get my bookcases organized and neat. (I did clean off several disgusting "inspirational" romance novels that I picked up at the library booksale - $5 for a huge box. My goodness, the stuff that passes for "Christian" fiction nowadays... but not the thorough organization and elimination I was hoping for. That will be continued.)

Begin the skirt I've been wanting to make. (No. I've made several other things with fabric that we already happened to have, so I think I'll wait on the skirt until I find just the right fabric on sale...)

So, for 2010, my goals are:

Long-term:

Better sleep schedule
Improve cooking
Improve singing
Improve general house cleanliness


One-time projects:
Clean off bookcase
Make a layered cake
Make Regency dress


I've also been thinking about unavoidable things coming up in 2010... such as the approach of my 19th birthday. I'm terrified of 19. Turning 16 felt like a milestone, but it was still young. One of my friends was convinced that we were "old" when we turned 17 in June 2008. 18 should be scary, as legal adulthood, but for some reason 19 is the age that I've been dreading.

I'll be graduating from highschool... FINALLY! And beginning my self-study "college" work. If I attend college, I will probably begin in the fall of 2011.

Also, it will be my last summer competing in swimming. I'm hoping to achieve some times that will be a good "end" to my swimming, even though I will, of course, continue to swim. The times I get this summer will probably be the fastest times I will ever get in my life, so I want to make them good ones!

Since turning 19 is definitely inescapable, I've decided to look forward to it, along with everything else the year will hold! I'm excited to see what God will do in the next year.

Thoughts on Forgiveness

As a child, I was compelled by my parents to ask forgiveness for offenses committed against my siblings. I was very rebellious, and usually repeated the required phrase in as saucy and sarcastic a tone as I could get away with. The make-up hug and kiss were harder to skew, but I did my best. A sad comparison to me, all of my siblings were much better at asking forgiveness, and giving it when I was forced to ask for it. However, my parents' training paid off even on their most rebellious and defiant child, and now even I earnestly try to forgive and apologize for my own wrongs whenever the Spirit prompts me... and when I know good and well that I need to... (not that I'm perfect at that or anything...)

Recently I've been pondering how important forgiveness and humble apologies are for any relationship. Christians can get angry, say hurtful things, hold onto grudges or nurse wounded feelings just like others, but if we allow ourselves to be humbled, sincerely apologize, and forgive the other person whether or not they apologize themselves, we could easily save a badly damaged relationship. I don't know about everyone else, but when someone hurts me, it is very hard for me to forgive them before they apologize... I do, and have, and will, but when they come to me and honestly apologize, it is as if the incident had never happened, and sometimes accepted apologies and renewed forgiveness create an even stronger bond than the one that was strained by the hurt.

I used to think that this verse applied only to angelic people who were never angered, and who could keep peace before an argument even started. I wrote myself off as being incapable of being a peacemaker when I was very young. Now I think that being a peacemaker has nothing to do with whether or not you started the problem, but whether or not you are willing to do everything you can to make it right later.
"Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God." -Matthew 5:9

Thoughts like this I store up my "mental" hope chest... every time I put it into practice in my current life, I am, of course, trying to heal my relationships with my family members, but I am also storing up experience for married life. I think I have no false delusions about how very often I will need these peace-making skills...

~Lizzie

Lessons through pain

Well, as any readers who read this blog last year will remember, one of our cats got really sick with kidney failure and almost died. The doctors didn't think she'd make it through the night, so we went to see her thinking we were saying goodbye. But we prayed for her, and the next morning the doctors were amazed at how well she was doing. We took her home, and she started acting like her normal self... chasing her tail around, scratching on mirrors and generally making a sweet nuisance of herself.

But after a few months, she went back into a decline and died October 24. Not quite a year after getting out of the hospital.

It's amazing how much pain and stress it put our whole family through for the past year. Personally, it was a very hard time for me. I know she was "only" a cat, but she was definitely the sweetest one of our three (although also capable of being the most annoying...) and this was my first up-close experience of having to see an innocent creature suffering. I can't imagine how horrible it would be to be that close to a person suffering that severely (or worse).

It also put a good deal of strain on my relationship with God. I didn't and still don't understand why He "healed" her a year ago in the hospital just to let her suffer for another year and die of kidney failure anyway. Was it MY fault? Did I not have enough faith? Did we "undo" her healing by treating her with medication like the doctors told us to?

Or, the worst thought of all: did He heal her just to teach me all the hard lessons I learned this year watching her die?

Of the many lessons I've learned this year, the main two and the only ones I'm going to mention are these:
I've learned to trust God, no matter what. Even when it seems like there can be no possible good, I know that "all things work together for good to those who love God and are called according to His purpose." I don't have to understand what He's doing to trust Him.
The other thing I've learned is to tell God exactly what I'm feeling. He can handle my doubts, my fears, my pain, my tears and even my anger. And through difficult circumstances like these I can either turn my back on God, or use it to grow closer to him. And this life will seem so short compared to eternity that all the pain I feel in my entire life will seem less than the pain of stubbing a toe.

All these thoughts had been growing in the back of my mind, but the Jeremy Camp concert at the state fair was when it all came completely into focus and I had one of those mind-blowing moments of understanding. And that's when I finally let go of everything I'd been holding onto. Whatever else God may have done through one little cat for the rest of my family, I know He used the situation greatly in my heart, and I'm thankful. Even through the pain that I still feel, I can praise Him. He is good, and His mercy endures forever.

And even though she was just a cat, I believe Shadow is in heaven now, and I will get to see her again, just like all the Christian people that have and will get to heaven before me.

~Lizzie

Over the weekend...

We went Goodwilling! We were going to go yardsaling, but it rained. No loss! At Goodwill, we found two matching little corner shelves/bookcases, a large, rustic breadbox, a "Golden Pie" collection pie plate with a decorative recipe for peach pie on the bottom, a set of six lovely glass dessert plates (not good for company, but there are six people in our family to enjoy them) and an assortment of much-needed winter clothes for my little brothers. I also found two cute little heart-shaped wall-mount candle-holders that are going in my hope chest. I think that's where the "Golden Pie" plate is going too.

The little corner bookshelves were assembled and placed into two parallel corners of our dining room, and instantly filled with pottery pieces from my mom's Seagrove pottery collection.

The rustic breadbox is currently in use holding three loaves of bread and any opened chip bags, with plans for making it less rustic in the future... hopefully sometime this week, if the weather really is as nice as it's been forecast, I'll get outside and paint it white. And then Sarah has agreed to paint some sort of design and maybe a Bible verse on the lid.

Then, on Sunday, Mom altered some curtains we got at a yard sale recently and I attempted to mount the curtain rod... I've done it before, but these windows were higher and I was at a bad angle for drilling and screwing AND I had the really heavy corded drill/screwdriver because our two battery operated ones are both dead (*sigh*). My Uncle Joel kindly finished it for me. And now we have some cute green and white checkered curtains hanging in our breakfast room! They give it a bright, airy side-walk-cafe feel.

And since I know all my readers hang on my every word and live for my day-to-day life stories, I've decided to create suspense and not post pictures until I get satisfactorily clamorous pleadings.

~Lizzie

(Actually, I just don't have time to take the pictures yet... although I won't bother to post them without requests... =P )

Fair day #2

We went back to the fair with several friends to see the 10th Avenue North and Jeremy Camp concert. We got to the fair about 2, got some food, then the guys wanted to check out a crumpled SUV. We all admired Sarah's art entry. Then we went to the bike show. Unfortunately, the schedule was printed wrong, so we killed an hour going to the Village of Yesteryear, and then went back to the bike show. After the bike show, we went over to the expo building for the Dazzling Mills Family show. It wasn't quite time for the show, so we walked around and looked at the exhibits in the Expo center.

The show was great!


Vic eating a fried pickle.



They're homeschoolers! Our entirely homeschooled group screamed and cheered when this was announced, drawing the comment from Mr. Mills that "Well, THAT'S not obvious!"

After the Dazzling Mills Family, we went to ride some rides. About half the group wanted to ride Fireball, so we all got in line, and then they closed the ride. A few people rode the only real roller coaster. And then we had to split. Because of a very important Hawks baseball game, half of our group had to leave. The rest of us went to the concert.

The concert was AWESOME! The end.

After the concert we rode the ferris wheel...

From the top!

From the ferris wheel, I took a picture of the ride next on our list: the swings!

Sarah and Jessica, in their seats...

Yep, I took my camera! I like this shot, too...

Then we headed home, exhausted. So much fun! I love the fair.

~Lizzie

Introducing!

Two nameless models. If you remember the sewing business that my friend Kara and I tried to start last year, this is the booster attempt with a focus on: doll clothes.


They are pictured here with our first two attempts. Kara's is the peach dress, and mine is the maroon. They won 3rd and 2nd place in the state fair, respectively.

The red head came with a name already (I hate that) and it is NOT staying. "Stacey" is so "Barbie" when it comes to dolls.

I love her red hair, and green eyes, but her face is plain (she reminds me of an early American Girl doll, and for all their popularity I've never thought that they were very nice dolls) and her coloring unfortunately unrealistic for a red head. The pricing for this doll was MUCH better than American Girl prices (very cheap with the coupon), though, so I am happy with her.

The Madame Alexander dolls I found while researching on the internet. Her vinyl upper body is nice for lower neckline and thin-strap tops, as seen in the picture.


I was very excited to find that they are sometimes available at Costco beginning in October for the holiday season. However, over the phone, Costco informed us that they would not be carrying them this year. The next week, Mom surprised me with her after a trip to Costco! The employee was apparently mistaken.

Her skin is beautifully creamy, her eyes a rich chocolate and her hair is unbelievably silky. She also has the ability to tilt her head, as well as looking up and down (like my Elsie doll). American Girl and the Springfield collection dolls (my red head) can only turn their heads from side to side. Amazingly enough, she was also fairly inexpensive (much, much less than American Girl!)

Suggestions for names are quite welcome! I'm thinking of Flanna for the red head and Rowena for the brunette...

~Lizzie

Fair day #1!

My family went to the fair this past Friday. We're usually the type who arrive at the fair at 9:30 or 10am, and stay all day. This time, we didn't make it there until 2, but we still stayed for the fireworks. And I took a grand total of 4 very blurry pictures while we were waiting to ride the ferris wheel.

First we checked out all our family entries... various 2nds, 3rds, 4ths, 5ths and Honorable Mentions were awarded to some. In between checking entries, we got some corn on the cob... it's tradition. Anyway, the last entry we got to was my doll dress ... it got 2nd... even though it was the only one in the catagory... apparently the judges didn't think it was good enough for a first, even if it was the only one... I found that pretty funny! And kinda sad...

After we checked all the entries we went to take our traditional picture on the invisible bench. Then we went and rode rides, ate our traditional gyros at John the Greek, and rode more rides... David got me to go on Freak Out (I think that's what it's called...) with him this year, and it was actually pretty fun! There's also a new swings ride! Instead of the swings just going in a circle, you went around AND up really high (I'm not explaining it very well). It was pretty neat.

Then we walked around the Expo center... mostly because it was so COLD outside, but Sarah and I enjoyed seeing all the animals... I especially enjoyed seeing the calves, chicks, ducklings and I think they were baby miniature donkeys... they were all cute, anyway. After that, we rode the ferris wheel and froze... it was so cold up high, whenever the ferris wheel got to the bottom it felt warm.

Then we got some hot cider and hung around the "Heritage Circle" watching the blacksmith and sitting by the tobacco barn fires while we waited for the fire works. About 15 minutes before the fireworks went off, we went through gate 8 before they closed it for the fireworks and settled into our traditional fireworks watching spot. We watch from the parking lot just out side the gate, and then try and get to our car and get out before the crowd of "after fireworks" leavers start leaving.

It was so much fun. I always enjoy going to the fair. The bad part is Sarah picked up a cold, and I've got a little bit of something too... I'm not coughing as much as she is though, I just don't feel very energetic, and I have a scratchy feeling in my throat.

Hopefully we will recover quickly, because we're supposed to be going back to the fair this Friday to see the 10th Avenue North and Jeremy Camp concert with some of our friends...

~Lizzie

Please don't bring your issues to my pity party...

Many times, when I am frustrated with something, I will try to comfort myself with the thought that someday, *I* will do it differently! My children will always be obedient, my kitchen always clean and organized and my household will flow like a merry fairy-tale...

Hahaha.

If I can't be patient now, having my own kids won't make it easier. Maybe my future home won't have the same irritations that I face now, but there will still be things to test my character. If I am not content now, there is no reason I will be content later. I will always be looking toward the future, waiting for that moment when every piece in my world falls into place...

And it finally sank into my head. Years of hearing that you must be content in all things, and it took 18 years for me to get it. But I think that I can truthfully say that I got it now! That does NOT mean that I am always content, but now, rather than wallowing in my pity party and wistfully dreaming of that "perfect" future, I remind myself that where I am now is a part of His plan, and I am meant to learn from my current circumstances.

And really, what do I have to not be content about? It's not as if my circumstances are very difficult! God has taken care of my family. We are all together, we have a house with running water, food to eat, clothes to wear, two cars, a grand piano and several Bibles. When I remember all that I have, and what some in this world do not have, I am ashamed that I could ever be discontent.

"Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content." Philippians 4:11

~Lizzie

Successful cinnamon rolls!

Or, at least, I think they are. =P


They still don't look like an advertisement, but I'm just happy that somehow, they turned nice and fluffy this time, and I made the icing a little runnier so it spread and soaked better. I also piled on the sugar, butter and cinnamon... so much that there is a gooey layer of syrupy sugar-cinnamon-butter in the bottom of the pan...

I'm satisfied. =D

~Lizzie

Doll dress

My friend Kara and I made doll dresses to enter in the state fair. This is mine, on my doll, Elsie.

I couldn't get the lighting right... so I have two versions.
The washed out version:

The fuzzy, yellow version:

Maybe between the two you can get an idea what it really looks like. =P

Details:

Full length shot:

I had a lot of fun sewing this dress! We threw them together pretty last minute, so now I'm eager to do another doll dress with more planning and more care.

~Lizzie

Shocking and Malicious Distortion of Classic Literature #2

Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters. Oh, creatures of the deep, slay me before I read the first word and save me from my misery.

Oh, wait. I don't have to read it! Never mind.

There should be a law against tacking Jane Austen's name onto any contortion of her writing.

All that is needed now is a very elaborate eye-roll and a disgusted sigh.

~Lizzie

Romans 15:30-33

Mr. Henderson's sermon in church yesterday was on Romans 15:30-33:
"³⁰ Now I beg you, brethren, through the Lord Jesus Christ, and through the love of the Spirit, that you strive together with me in prayers to God for me, ³¹ that I may be delivered from those in Judea who do not believe, and that my service for Jerusalem may be acceptable to the saints, ³² that I may come to you with joy by the will of God, and may be refreshed together with you. ³³ Now the God of peace be with you all. Amen."

And one of the points Mr. Henderson made that stuck out to me was that Paul was begging his fellow believers to pray for him, and these were people that he didn't even know.

I don't know that I've ever begged someone to pray for me... I didn't need to beg though, because so far in my life, all I've had to do was ask. =P But I guess maybe Paul was begging because he was communicating through writing instead of in person, and since you can't see the person's responding in letter writing you want to impress your point more emphatically...?

Well, I have decided to beg for prayer for myself. If you've been reading my blog for at least a year then you've probably seen some of my posts where I rant, moan and whine about how confused I am and how I have no idea what I'm supposed to be doing with myself. It seems like every time I come up with a plan, I find a flaw, or I get scared, or I change my mind. The number of plans I have adopted for a mere day or two are too numerous to count.

The problem, I think, is that my main goal is to eventually get married. I don't know when that will be (if ever), so I'm trying to find some way of making money so that I can support myself if need be. Since I took piano lessons for 9 years, and devoted a good deal of time and work into becoming a proficient pianist, the most obvious option is something involving piano. I really enjoy teaching... I have a few beginner students that I am teaching out of my home.

So, assuming that I will do something with teaching piano, the next obvious step would normally be going to college for piano pedagogy. My problems with college are that I have no desire to learn all the extra required things (like math, science, psychology or other things that colleges may require for degrees) or to spend 4 years of my life learning all of that when I could be teaching for those 4 years. Nor do I wish to leave my family.

However, I know that I lack the ability to teach students any more advanced than beginners, and I wouldn't want to have such a limitation on myself forever. As of yet, all my students have left me before they got close to intermediate level (and maybe that says something about my teaching skills...) and right now I am restricting my advertising to beginners.

My plan for this year (as I've mentioned recently) is taking up lessons again myself (I stopped for a year) and "apprenticing" with my new piano teacher to learn from her how to teach better. Today was the first day that I did the apprenticing, so I'm not sure how it will continue to work out, but today I taught two early intermediate students without her supervision, and I was hoping that she would be supervising and more of teaching me to teach than just giving me a student and saying, "Okay, go." So I'll see how that goes...

But as to future plans, I have begun reconsidering college. Meredith is a good option because it's so close that I could commute, but I don't want to have to do all the non-piano/music things that Meredith requires for a degree. Campbell (as far as I can tell from their websites) requires less non-music classes for a degree, but is just far enough that I would need to live on campus (but could come home on weekends).

The thing is, I think of teaching piano as a temporary option. I am hoping and praying that God's will is to fulfill my deepest desire of being a wife and mother, and if I teach piano after I get married, it probably won't be much. So if it is God's will for me to get married, should I spend 4 years going to school for piano? What if I end up getting married right out of college and don't use my expensive education for anything besides teaching my own children? But then, what if I never get married and my only support is teaching piano lessons for the rest of my life? Wouldn't it be better to go to college and be a skilled teacher so that I can support myself more easily if I'm a confirmed old maid?

So, to condense all that, my prayer requests are:
For God's continued guidance
For Him to give me wisdom
For me to have joy and contentment no matter where I am
For His will to be worked in my life (hopefully including a husband and family ;) )
And through wherever my life path takes me, that He will shape my character and use me to His glory.

Thank you for praying for me!

~Lizzie

Oh, beautiful weather!

I love every season, but I always feel most excited about the season that is just beginning! I think God planned them perfectly so that when fall is here, I'm exactly ready for it... summer is neither too long nor too short. And then fall with its cool breezes, warm sun, falling leaves smoothly segues into winter, with freezing weather making the perfect condition to sit inside under a warm afghan by the fire with a book and a cup of hot chocolate or hot tea. About the time you're tired of being stuck inside, spring brings cheerful birds and fresh, cool mornings, with lovely flowers and new life. And then summer is back: gardens, summer flowers, swimming, cold lemonade and breezy moonlit walks...

I think I would be perfectly happy in a cozy little house in the middle of lots of land, with my own garden, and no reason to leave every day. My life is so crazy, sometimes I wonder if maybe I should be enjoying home life more... taking care of a garden, hanging clothes out on a clothesline, baking all the things it seems I never have time for, cleaning, sewing, playing piano just for fun, reading... but with my previously mentioned schedule, I hardly have time to get all the other work done.

On Monday, I have to go to my lesson, and help teach. That takes all afternoon. In the morning, I have to eat breakfast, do schoolwork, eat lunch and leave. And I don't have enough time to finish my schoolwork. I leave from my lesson, pick up Sarah at band, go home, help fix supper, eat, try to finish schoolwork and go to bed.

On Tuesday, I have to get up, eat breakfast, do school ("school" includes practice piano) and leave for swimming. We eat "lunch" at about 4 in the afternoon when we get home (starving!) and then Sarah and I leave for dance and theatre. We get home around 8 and eat supper. This past Tuesday, our director decided to spring auditions on us, so I have 4 days left now to prepare a song and monologue for audition. And I don't even know what character I would like to try out for!

On Wednesday, I get up, eat breakfast, do school and leave for swimming and water polo. Again, we eat "lunch" after swimming when we get home around 4. Then I have a few hours to do school, help fix supper and eat before we leave for our Wednesday night prayer meeting (Radical Wednesday). We leave at 7, and don't usually get home until 10... sometimes 11.

On Thursday, I get up, eat breakfast (is this redundant yet?), do school and leave for swimming. We eat when we get home at 4. Sometimes I take Sarah to band and we don't get home until 6. Then we help fix supper, eat and I usually waste the rest of the evening because by Thursday, I'm so exhausted that I don't even want to think about doing something productive (sad to say...).

On Friday, I get up, clean my room, eat breakfast, and clean the living room and foyer in preparation for my piano students. I have a student that comes at 10:30am. Then I practice piano, help fix lunch, work on school or cleaning my room (or the monologue, song and character analysis that I STILL HAVEN'T DONE!!! Ahhhhhhh!!) and on the first Friday of every month I have my "once-a-month" students at 3 and 3:30. (That's today, so right now I'm home by myself, because Mom took the boys to basketball practice, and Sarah went with them. Daddy's at work.) On the days when I don't have afternoon students, I usually take the boys to basketball practice. They get home around 4. (Hmm... we seem to get home at 4 a lot...) Then I have the rest of the afternoon to clean, work on school, practice or whatever I need to do. Fix supper, eat, usually watch some TV, and go to bed.

Saturdays don't really have a schedule, but there's usually something that we have to do around the house, or maybe shopping that needs to be done. I like to sew or do some fun baking or "deep" cleaning where I clean out junk that I somehow collect like a magnet.

On Sundays we usually stay home and do the bare minimum of work and relax. If we don't, the next week is even more stressful and hectic than the last week. You can only go, go, go for so long before you explode, crash and burn.

So if you noticed, I have a lot that I should be doing right now instead of writing this blog post. It's sometimes so overwhelming that I just shove it all aside and do something useless, like writing this post... it actually helps, because it organizes my thoughts and gives me a break so that I don't go completely insane.

And then I take a few minutes to wish that I could have a homey life ("wash day," "baking day," "cleaning day"...) sigh, and then go do SOMETHING that I need to do. I'm trying to keep ahead, and I think I'm doomed to be behind... behind in what is the variable. =\

Let the usefulness now resume...

~Lizzie

Have you ever been hungry and nauseous at the same time?

I'm sitting here wrapped in a quilt, feeling hot and cold by turns. I've been in bed almost all morning, and I'm tired of laying there when it doesn't make me feel any better. I have decided to push aside polite rules and my own embarrassment to share with you something that I think everyone should know about. I won't make it as much of a TMI post as it could be, but it will definitely be more TMI than I usually am. So there's your warning.

Some girls need to know that all girls don't have their "time" as easily as they do, so that they can sympathize. Other girls need to know that they are not alone in their suffering. I used to try to suffer through, and push myself to live a normal day. I feel horribly lazy to have a "sick" day for something that healthy women are SUPPOSED to have for around 30 years of their life, but the truth is that this pain is real and it shouldn't be ignored. (Although it is also not natural, and it should be treated.)

Guys should know what this feminine "sickness" is like for girls... your mom, sister or wife will appreciate your sympathy even if she has it "easy." And if you're grossed out or don't want to hear about it, I recommend that you either never get married, or just get over it.

The medical term for it is Dysmenorrhea. Their description, however, comes nowhere near close to the excruciating pain I feel. It feels like there is a monster hand twisting and knotting my insides, and slowing pulling my insides inside-out. The slightest movement of something as remote as my toes gives causes a deepening in the pain. Breathing hurts. Lying down doesn't help much. There aren't words to describe this unique torture, so I won't try.

My whole body aches, and even without the horrific cramps, the ache would keep me from resting comfortably. My muscles feel heavy and slack. I'm shaking, and if I try to stand up, or move my head to fast, I'll get dizzy.

I'm nauseous, and I have stabbing hunger pains. From previous experience, I know that it's better to be nauseous and hungry than to eat something and then fight throwing it up. Eventually the hunger pains fade anyway... if you're hungry long enough, the hunger goes away.

If I stay active, I will eventually get a hot flash immediately followed by a cold sweat. Then the blood will drain from my face, and if I don't sit down, I will faint. I've only fainted once, fortunately.

From that point, my symptoms usually start fading. It usually only lasts a day for me, but for some it can last as long as a week.

Doctors will usually prescribe the Pill. The pill actually causes normal female fertility to temporarily cease, including menstruation. The placebo week is fake, to make users feel comfortable that they aren't completely interfering with their body's natural processes. When in actuality, they are. (Bad idea.)

Red Raspberry leaf is a natural hormone balancing herb. I've been taking it religiously for about 2 months, and it has helped a lot. It hasn't helped as much this time, but I still feel better than I usually feel. I hope that Red Raspberry is the answer, and eventually this pain will be a vague memory for me, which is why I decided to write this post while I still know what it feels like.

I hope I didn't disturb you too much, and that this was helpful for someone.

~Lizzie

*glare* Did YOU steal my diary?

I marched into my brothers' bedroom and gave them my most intimidating stare, silently, until I had their full attention. Joel lowered his thick novel and David asked, "What?" I pursed my lips. "Did you guys take my diary?"

They looked at me and started laughing. I wasn't sure if they were guilty, or if they thought that was the most ridiculous idea they'd ever heard. However stereotypical diary-stealing brothers may be, my brothers, first and foremost, would probably be bored out of their minds if they could even read my cursive, and secondly, wouldn't invade my privacy even if it would be interesting. Still, they were more likely than my sister and parents, and I'd already checked everywhere that I could have left it.

Joel and David were still rolling on their beds laughing, Joel gasping, "I... can't... breathe!!!" when Sarah walked in. "What's so funny?"By this time, I was trying to stifle my own laughter. "Did YOU take my diary?" Sarah instantly started laughing. If I didn't know better, I would think they were all in on it, but they know enough about my thoughts to know that my diary would be redundant to them.

Sarah followed me when I went to check if Mom had seen it. After Mom affirmed that she hadn't taken it, Sarah asked, "Did you even know she HAS a diary?" To which Mom admitted that she didn't.

Daddy is already asleep, so he's the only un-investigated suspect... I just can't figure out what happened to it! It must have been me... but I only write in it in one place, and I only keep it in one place, and I looked both, and in between isn't a very far distance either... quite frustrating.

And I just wanted to copy down an interesting passage I just read.

~Lizzie

On my schedule this year...

Monday: piano lesson and student-teaching/assisting with some younger students

Tuesday: Swimming, Broadway Dance and Theatre class.

Wednesday: Swimming, water polo, possibly Adv. Acting (not decided yet) and Radical Wednesday (Wednesday night church meeting).

Thursday: Swimming

Friday: Teaching my own piano students.

Throw in school, and my siblings' activities like band, basketball and baseball and it makes for a fuller schedule than it appears.

For my "super" senior year, I'm doing business math, Human Biology, Spanish (still...) and an assortment of history, writing and literature books. For the first time, I get to choose what I'd like to do, instead of what I need to graduate! The beginning of school is always exciting, with new books and the prospect of interesting things to learn, but the excitement usually fades very quickly for me. This year I anticipate enjoying my "school" work much more. Mostly because I don't feel like it IS school, since I'm learning things that will be useful and interesting for me!

Along with school-type books, I've also selected several books on Christianity, health, etc. to read as a part of school this year... an idea that I got from Meredith. =) I began with Stepping Heavenward on Sunday, and finished it Monday in the car as we drove to Wilmington to visit my Nana. I've never been able to read in the car without feeling sick before, so I've either outgrown it, or the book was just so engrossing that I didn't feel sick... whatever is was, I REALLY enjoyed Stepping Heavenward!

I'm also adjusting my sleeping schedule so that I go to bed earlier, and get up earlier. When I was younger I didn't understand why "early to bed, early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise," but now I realize that you get so much more productive work done when you get up early. It truly gives you more DAY time, and as my late evenings are usually spent in some unproductive activity like TV or computer, I think rising early is an important habit for me to form. It is also healthier, because 10pm-2am are the best hours of sleep, and if you get those hours of sleep you can spend less time sleeping, but still wake up feeling refreshed and energized.

I'm so excited about everything this school year may hold!

~Lizzie

Silly quiz...

I found it on Meredith's blog, and couldn't resist. =P

1. What two qualities do you want most in your future husband (besides being a Christian)? Joy that will last through hardships and love of children.

2. Is there a fictional character you see as a model for your future husband? Mr. Knightley and Mr. Tilney (both from Jane Austen novels... =P)

3. Where do you want your wedding? In my own front yard... I have it all worked out.

4. What are your views on courtship? I've done many long rants/explanations about it, but in a nutshell, I believe courtship a mindset, and that being in that mindset while getting to know a special someone is the only way to end up with the right one.

5. Do you have a purity ring/locket? Kind of... on my charm bracelet, I have a gold heart inscribed with "He who holds the key can unlock my heart." I gave the key to my daddy, as a symbol that until the man God has for me comes into my life, my daddy is the man who protects me.

6. Do you have or want a hope chest? I do have a hope chest. It's slowly collecting things...

7. Will you wear a veil at your wedding? I'm not sure... I'll have to find one I like and that hasn't happened yet. The wedding would not be ruined in my opinion if I didn't have a veil.

8. What kind of wedding dress do you want? I want a modest, short sleeve or sleeveless (NOT strapless), full-skirt dress with no train. I'm not sure if I'll find it or make it, but I always look at the wedding dresses at Goodwill, and if I find what I'm looking for I'll buy it and save it! =P

9. What color bridesmaid dresses do you want? Well, I want a small wedding, so I might only have Sarah as my maid of honor... so I'll let her have whatever color she wants, excluding hot pink. If I have more, I might still let them wear whatever color... I'm not sure.

10. What flowers do you want in your bouquet? That would depend on what season I end up getting married, but I'd like to cut my own flowers and arrange them myself... so whatever is blooming.

11. What do you want to name one of your daughters? I like Celtic names... Moyna, Sianna, Flanna, Arela.

12. What do you want to name one of your sons? Alan, Devlin, Tiernan... Maybe one of my desired traits in a husband should be "tolerance of weird names." :\

13. How many kids do you want? My joke answer is 13... almost everyone who knows makes fun of me. Really, it's "AT LEAST" 13. Laugh, gasp or cajole all you want, that's my desire.

14. What music do you want to play at your wedding? Strings and flute... I would say piano, but I want it in my front yard, so a piano might be too much trouble.

15. Are you a hopeless romantic? I wouldn't say so. I can easily enjoy the romance in anything, but I don't look for that kind of romance for myself. My dream is just to have a simple life with the man God has for me. And then, even the normal things in life are romantic.

TCC First Annual Dads & Daughters Night

This was not the first Father/daughter dance I'd been to. I've been to one that was in a slightly decorated gym, where everyone brought a snack to share, a hired DJ played all the "usual," there was no room to sit, less room to dance, and it was lots fun. Until one night, I listened to one of the songs that was played, and couldn't believe what I was hearing. I wish I could say that one song was all it took for me to want to leave, but it took three reprehensible songs, and then I was ready to leave and never come back. And that's what we did.

I always enjoyed the night spent with my sister and daddy, (even when the songs were horrible) and I missed it this year (it was always around Valentine's Day). Then, just a couple weeks ago, Mr. Finneran announced that he was planning a Christian Community Dads & Daughters night for August 13th.

I was excited about the idea, but I confess that at first, I wasn't too happy that it was going to be right after hours of swimming and water polo. I ended up having to miss water polo to get ready in time (30 minutes might be enough for Sarah and Jessica, but it's not enough for me!) It was worth it. The messy little room at TAC was transformed by Mrs. Finneran, Mrs. Jacob and my mom into an elegant and lovely dining room and dance floor. The fluorescent lights were out and the lighting was provided by candles, soft lamps and Christmas light strands. Pink and white streamers, light pink balloons, beautiful table cloths, and delicate doilies all added a special touch. I could never believe it was the same stark, unfinished and harsh room we'd had our swim team awards banquet in.

Sarah and Jessica, preparing for a picture together...

Sarah and Jessica

We had a meal, Mr. Finneran gave a devotional talk, and then the dads presented their daughters with a rose. Since my mom was responsible for getting the roses, I had seen them ahead of time, and already had my heart set on one that was not quite as bright pink as all the others. When Daddy picked our roses for us, he picked for me the very one I wanted!

My little brothers and some of the other young men were being the waiters, and they were all so cute, refilling drinks and offering more salad, or more sparkling apple cider. Little Torin was especially adorable, he was so excited to be a waiter, so eager to do anything, and very serious about his job.

My brother, Joel, and Torin, "helping" the DJ.

Then the DJ (who played the piano during the meal) cranked up the dance music and we danced. Then we ate cake, and danced some more.

Jessica and her dad, dancing very well...

It was all over way too soon. It was such a special evening, I'm so glad to have the night with Daddy and Sarah back. And the older girls are looking forward to planning an similar event for the dads and moms sometime soon!

Our table...

Sarah, with her lip-like heart candy from the dance.

Our roses... (there were three left over, so the three moms who were in charge of decorating and the six hours of hard work got a rose each as well.) Can you see the difference between mine and Sarah's and Mom's?

It was so nice, I can't wait to do one for the moms!

~Lizzie

"It's cute... not saying I like it, but it's cute..."

- Sarah's opinion of this little arrangement.



I had been feeling sad about cutting Black-eyed Susans because they almost always have little baby buds on the stem that are too low to fit in the arrangement, but too high to avoid being cut along with the main flower. But today I decided to try sticking them in their own little vase instead of throwing them away, and they ended up looking better than I imagined they would!


This is the arrangement of Zinnias that I wanted the long Black-eyed Susans for. (It's kind of blurry, but the flash looked much worse.)

Sarah and I are very excited about Wicked coming to DPAC April/May 2010... but I am beginning to wonder if I shouldn't have a problem with the witches and wizards and magic in Wicked. After all, I rejected Harry Potter because of Christian objections to witchcraft and witches being portrayed in a good light. Glinda is a "good" witch. There is witchcraft in Wicked... flying on brooms and such. Wicked seems more like an innocent story than Harry Potter, but it still centers on witches who are supposed to be "good." I'm very torn. I feel that I should be objecting to Wicked too, but I've heard that it's such a good show, and I have the soundtrack and the music is fantastic... and it's not like I'm a child that could be fooled into thinking that real witches are good just by a show!

Also, J. K. Rowling (a professed witch) has said that she intended Harry Potter to encourage American children to experiment with witchcraft! Wicked is just another Broadway musical: typically slightly cheesy, with no mind-blowing intent beyond being a well-acted and well-sung musical... the witches are just another twist in a thread of musicals with all-too-similar romantic plots. Right? At least I have 8 months to think about it. Thoughts are welcome. =)

~Lizzie

The day of the mysterious package...

I discovered an intriguing plain box outside our door early this afternoon. It had our address, and a return address, but said nothing of the sender, only "P.O. box ****" etc. I picked it up and whatever was inside thumped invitingly... I was hoping it wasn't another delivery for Sarah's new still-secret business, and it wasn't. Mom and I opened it, and inside were Nerf basketballs the size of baseballs, and some plastic and cardboard hoops.


I looked at Mom curiously, wondering if she'd ordered it for the boys, but she was as puzzled as I was... until we read the included letter, which read:

"Dear NERF Hoop Sweepstakes First Prize Winner:

Congratulations on being a First Prize Winner!

Your entry into the NERF Hoop Sweepstakes was selected in a random drawing as a First Prize winner.

The First Prize package is: one (1) NERF WALL2WALL HOOP product and one (1) NERFOOP product. Approximate retail value of each First Prize Package is $23.00.

We hope you enjoy this First Prize package.

Cottonwood Enterprises INC.
Sales Promotion Specialists"

My first thought was: "If this is First Prize, what is Second Prize?" And my second thought was: "Good grief! All the free car, jewelry, vacation and food drawings we've entered in, and we win a NERF sweepstakes?" *sigh* :\

Oh well.

~Lizzie

"From a frustrated customer"

Dear Volvo,
I love almost everything about your cars except for the "new" seat design, which features a head rest jutting forward in a most un-ergonomic position. Yes, I realize it is artistic, but I would rather lean my head back with out getting my neck snapped forward. Also, your seat back support is backwards. It juts out at the UPPER back, and curves away from supporting the lower back. I'm not sure it could have been more badly designed if that had been the actual intent.

Sincerely,
A Would-Be Volvo Lover

Baptisms and Memories...

I've always been told I became a Christian when I was four. I don't really remember it, but I never questioned it. When I was 8, we went to a typical Baptist church, and some of my friends had decided to get baptized. In light of the up-coming baptism, many of the sermons began to center on verses about baptism, and I began to feel guilty and pressured to be baptized. After all, I was a Christian, so I should be baptized, right? I finally asked Daddy to take me to see the pastor so that I could get into the pre-baptism class/study that was required. But then I chickened out. Looking back, I'm glad I did.

March 24, 2003, I heard a radio program that finally struck home. The pastor's point was that if you claim to be a Christian, but still haven't surrendered your life to Christ, then you probably aren't really a Christian. And that you were particularly in trouble if you didn't remember becoming a Christian. He recommended that if you didn't remember it, that you rededicate your life to Christ and then write the date down, so that when the Devil gave you doubts you could come back with that date. I got the feeling that he was talking directly to me. I'm still not sure if I really was a Christian before then or not, but my official date is March 24, 2003, and that's when my life changed.

That summer, we joined the Christian Community Summer Club for the first time, and started going to a "house" group that met at the pool. At one of the August meetings, the pastor announced that his daughter Kara had asked to be baptized and that a baptism would be held at the pool in two weeks. I instantly knew I wanted to be baptized as well, and that it was right this time. Exactly five months after I finalized my faith, on August 24, 2003, I was baptized by Coach Matt and my daddy, along with 4 others, Kara, Matt, Sean and Kyle. It was so much more special to be baptized in an informal setting by my daddy and another man I respected, instead of a Baptist pastor that I didn't even really know.

This past Wednesday, July 22, 2009, I got to watch as all 3 of my siblings were baptized by our daddy, our Coach, and the two other men in our fellowship group, Mr. M and Mr. J. Along with my siblings, there were the rest of Kara's siblings, Rachel, Trissa and Torin, the one who asked for the baptism, Hannah J. and her sister, Rachel, and Chandler M. It was so exciting for me to see all my siblings publicly confess their faith in Christ, and so sweet to see all 9 of those children and young adults baptized. We had a meal together beforehand, and played in the pool and celebrated with dessert afterward.

Here are some pictures from the baptism 6 years ago (I can't believe it's been that long!) and some from last Wednesday.




Me, Kara and Sean... we look so young!

Praying for me to grow in the spirit and walk with God the rest of my life... along with other things. =)

With my daddy! And you thought I was short NOW...

Sean, Matt, Kara and me... I don't remember what Coach was saying. And too bad Kyle isn't in this picture. I think he was on the other side of Sean.


Pre-baptism talk... missing Rachel J. I ALMOST got everyone. :\

I'm only putting pictures of my siblings because there would be way too many pictures if I put all of them...






Praying for them...




~Lizzie

Undefeated and Deep Thoughts...

Yes, our swim team is undefeated!!!! Two summers in a row, plus 4 from 2007 makes us a total of 16 meets straight undefeated. We didn't think we were going to make it against Black Horse Run this past Tuesday. We were all unbelievably tense as we waited and waited for the score... some of the Black Horse Run swimmers were already celebrating, but the score was TCC 255.5 to BHR 239.5!! Much screaming and cheering exploded from our team. It was a very close meet, and BHR has some amazing swimmers. However, the mostly-homeschooled team continues to prove that we are just as capable of swimming as "normal" people are...

And as to my "deep thoughts"... It has come to my attention that so far in my life, I have yet to meet ANYONE (and therefore, particularly no men) who completely agrees with every Biblical belief I have. Let me explain what I personally mean by Biblical.

I have many beliefs that may not be definitively laid out in the Bible, but all of my strong beliefs are grounded in my understanding of the Bible. If I didn't have a Biblical reason for some standpoint, then I hope I would be able to easily reconsider my opinion. However, the ones with Biblical reasoning are very important to me, and as they are all related to my Christian beliefs, I would never be able to give them up lightly.

This is troubling for me, mostly because I've realized how very unlikely it would be for there to be a "someone" who would agree with me. And as the woman, if I chose to follow a man that didn't hold my beliefs it would be my duty to relinquish my beliefs for his. (Of course, I am still speaking of "bigger deal" issues and not minor things... I don't intend to become a female clone of my future husband)

But that is not the final dilemma. What I am trying to figure out is if I need to have more faith in God, or if some of my opinions are too strong. What is really important enough that I would reject a godly, honorable man if he disagreed with me? Or should I be trusting God to bring me a man that believes exactly what I do?

I realize that I'm being very silly to be worrying about this already, but I figure I can't hurt anything by trying to puzzle it out and pray about it ahead of time. It would be so much more painful if I already had a suitor that didn't agree with me and I had to have this time of deliberation. Right now, while my mind is still cleared of any partiality to any man, I have time to evaluate which of my beliefs are truly grounded in conviction from God, and which may be just opinions that I have formed and glorified on my own.

It is very intriguing...

~Lizzie

Of Butter beans and Swimming pools...

After picking and shelling butter beans this morning, we were all excited to go swimming to cool off and relax.

Granite Falls Swim and Athletic Club just opened in Rolesville on July 4th. And the pools are salt water! Knowing how bad chlorine is for you we were excited. We went over there on July 4th, ready to swim at their Grand Opening... only to find out that it was for people who were already members. Silly us, we thought they'd let us try it out first! But the lady there told us that once the indoor pool opened (there's an indoor competition pool, two outdoor pools and the exercising room) that they would offer day passes. So today, we called to find out how much the day passes were, only to be told that to visit, you have to be the guest of a member. Fine! Forget that! We're not going to pay $400 (a one-time fee) and THEN $88 a month without even getting to try it out first! That is a ridiculous cost.

We were so disappointed, but still determined to swim, because we all had our hearts set on it. We decided to go over to Optimist. When we arrived, we saw the results of the "renovations" they'd been doing. It was supposed to be all glass, with removable panels. Instead, a permanent tent-like "bubble" is over the pool, which used to be an outdoor pool. So we didn't get any sun. There were garage doors open on the side, I guess in an attempt to let in fresh air. It still smelled like chlorine, and the water tasted funny.

After hardly any time swimming, it started to rain. And apparently it thundered, because they cleared the pool. Since the wait to get back in was a half an hour, we decided to just leave. We went in the locker rooms to shower, and in the middle of our showers, a life guard came in and said, "No showers! Clear the pool deck!"
"This is the pool deck?" I finished my shower anyway. (I know, I'm such a bad girl.)

As we were getting into our cars, the sun came back out.

~Lizzie

Finished Apron

It didn't turn out as nice as it could have... the green checked material ended up being really hard to work with, so I let some little mistakes go by instead of going through the trouble of ripping seams and sewing them again. Still, for my first attempt at an apron, I'm pleased with it. And I really like the color combination...

Oh, the wonders of Plantain!

I was innocently yard-saling with Mom this morning (early, before we went over the JCHE conference and book sale... more on that in a bit...) and saw this lovely desk. As I wove through furniture to look at it, I suddenly felt a pain in my ankle, much like a piece of glass being stabbed into my skin, and then scraped in a circular motion underneath the skin around the stabbing point. I yelped, and bent over to brush/scrape/ANYTHING to remove the source of pain. But as I leaned over, I felt a tingling, prickling sensation all over my body, and then I realized I was sitting on the tarp that was laid out for the yard sale. The wound on my ankle was throbbing, and with each throb, it felt like I was being stabbed with the piece of glass again. At that point, I was too confused and terrified to care what it was that had bitten or stung me (I knew it wasn't actually a piece of glass) I just wanted the stabbing to stop. I was rubbing the injury unconsciously, not knowing whether it was the wise thing to do or not.

Mom located the bee, which I'd killed in frantic attempt to stop the pain. Apparently it was some sort of ground bee (the tarp was probably placed over its hive, and I was perceived as the threat) and it left a round hole in my skin, much like some sort of bite or something. It was raw, almost bleeding, and the area around it on that side of my ankle was becoming red and swollen, while a smaller, white circle was expanding around the red welt. This was, by far, the most painful bee sting I have every experienced. Regular, fuzzy, bumblebee stings are NOTHING compared to this.

I was terrified almost to hysteria to notice another such bee buzzing around me as I sat on the tarp in my bewildered pain, and I leapt to my feet and ran from the yard sale (without getting to check out the desk I was going for in the first place...). Mom followed, more sanely and looking for plantain.

Now, for those who may not know, plantain is what most Americans consider "a weed." But plantain is in fact a very useful herb, which my family uses constantly on mosquito bites, fly bites or any kind of bite or sting. It removes the poison and instantly begins to bring relief.

Unfortunately for me, however, this neighborhood appeared to be the typical American neighborhood in which everyone uses some kind of weed killer, and therefore has nothing but grass in the yards. We searched, with yard-sales in between, for possibly ten to fifteen minutes (maybe less, but it seemed like longer to me) before finally finding some in a wild area which appeared to belong to no one. At least, no one was cutting the grass, and no one was spraying weed killer. The plantain was very small, but I was so overcome with relief that I didn't care. I picked all the leaves, chewed them, and spit them on the sting.

That may sound disgusting, but you try getting stung by a ground bee and see what you'll do to ease the pain.

We continued yard-saling, and every time I saw more plantain, I'd pick it, chew it up and add it to my poultice.


The leaves aren't very well chewed up here. Mostly because I was too anxious to get them on my ankle, but also because they don't taste that great. This picture includes the first and second doses. The first dose was barely enough to cover the welt. The second dose covered the red, swollen area. At this point I was feeling well enough to think of blogging and taking pictures, which I think relieved Mom.

A little later, we were going close by our house anyway, so we stopped to pick a BUNCH of plantain (which I chewed VERY well), and apply it along with plastic wrap and an Ace bandage (just to hold it in place) so that I could yard sale some more instead of just sitting in the car while Mom shopped.

And wouldn't you know it... after all those weeks of me wearing an Ace bandage because I actually sprained my ankle, the first time a stranger says, "Oh, did you sprain your ankle?" I'm caught unawares, and end up blabbering something about a bee sting and "stuff" to "help it." Why didn't they ask when I could just answer a simple, "Yes"?

So anyway. I survived and Mom and I made it over to the conference. I hung out with Daddy and the boys until the late afternoon at the table promoting Christian Community Sports... featuring a poster board of pictures and info put together by Sarah and me... designed by Sarah... and almost all the pictures are pictures Sarah took. I was just the unworthy, completely in-artistic assistant, who cut tape and stuck it to the back of pictures and paper for Sarah to place. Pictures coming soon! =P

And now, I should have been in bed a long time ago, because we have the Greater Raleigh Championship Meet tomorrow, and I need my sleep.

~Lizzie

Yay... I'm not COMPLETELY abnormal...

Daddy always says I got it from my mom. She can't stand the smell of gasoline/exhaust. I get a headache whenever I get a whiff of gasoline, exhaust, perfume, mold, cleaning materials, paint and did I mention perfume? Not only that, but normal smells are overwhelming to me, even if they don't give me a headache. For example, at night, we turn off our A/C and open our windows. When I get up in the morning and come downstairs, the garage doors are open, and the screen door from the kitchen to the garage is letting in fresh air. At least, that's what my family thinks. I think that the whole kitchen smells like SOMETHING from the garage, and whatever it is, it is NOT appetizing to me. It's one of the most disgusting smells ever.

Another thing that really annoys me... I can tell when the pool deck hasn't been cleaned very recently. It smells like a wet dog. And none of my teammates understand. I've stopped asking them if they smell it, because they inevitably begin to think that they are the source of the smell, and I have to stumble over myself and assure them that that's absolutely impossible, and that I can still smell the scent of their shampoo/body wash from when they last showered... and yes, I can actually smell it over the chlorine. Thank goodness the smell of chlorine doesn't bother me. And one time, I was swimming almost in the middle of the pool (4 or 5 lanes away from the side of the pool) and I got a headache from the lifeguard's cologne. :\

Cigarette smoke instantly makes me cough, and I can smell it outdoors when the person smoking is about 50 feet away. It's not just a smell to me, it overwhelms my whole sense of smell, and smells so strong that I can taste it. I don't know what it would be like if I ever tried smoking myself, but you can be certain I wouldn't even think of trying it.

The detergent aisle is pure torture. I can smell the aisle from two aisles away. And some clothes I find at Goodwill I can't buy, because there's a particular detergent smell that give me a headache INSTANTANEOUSLY and the smell won't go away no matter how many times I wash the clothes. I found a really cute shirt one time that smelled horrific (I couldn't even touch it because the smell would linger on my hands) and tried washing it again and again and it still gave me an instant headache. I have to use organic detergent on my clothes.

I usually can't wash my hands with the soap in public bathroom dispensers, because any time I tuck my hair behind my ear, or rest my chin in my hand after that, I'll get a headache. And the smell lasts for at least 2 hours, even if I try to wash it off, or cover it with lotion. There was a bathroom at a basketball tournament once where the soap smelled so bad, it seemed like the bathroom was FLOODED in that soap, and it was a horrible anti-bacterial smell too. I carry natural hand sanitizer.

Strangely enough, though, even some "natural" and "organic" lotions, soaps, etc. give me headaches too. But very rarely.

Also, "tagless" tags (where the tag is printed on the shirt in a rubbery-type ink) gives me a rash, which I've discovered in research, is probably a chemical burn from the phthalates and other chemicals in the "tagless" tag.

Anyway, the point of that long rant was to say that, apparently, there's actually a name for it! Multiple Chemical Sensitivity (MCS). I don't have too bad of a case, though, since I only get headaches and rashes. I suppose I might get fatigue and mood disturbances... I've never noticed if any fatigue and mood disturbances were caused by anything particular, other than lack of sleep. =P

Funny how "they" come up with names for everything. I suppose that makes it seem more safe to people who actually have the particular problem. I just want to know if I can get rid of it... but then, I guess having a noticable sensitivity is better than being unknowingly harmed by all those chemicals. *sigh* What a wonderful world...

~Lizzie