I love a lot of people: God, my family, my friends, my brothers and sisters in Christ, and all the people in the world. And someday, I hope to love one special someone that God has planned for me.
So anyway, I've been thinking about WHY I love people. I came up with several side reasons, which I will share for your benefit.
I love God because He loved me enough to send His son to die for me (and also, being three-in-one), died for me, and now lives inside me.
I love my family because when you're stuck with people long enough, you eventually decide love is easiest form of coping. (Just kidding! I love you guys because of all your special traits, and because you tolerate me better than anyone else! :P Okay, I'm incapable of being serious... let's leave it at, I love you guys because I do. Don't worry, I'm getting to a point.)
I love my friends because they're my friends. (Yeah, I'm going with simplicity. Don't be offended. I command you.)
I love my brothers and sisters in Christ, not only because the Bible commands us to love one another, but because we share a common bond in our love for God.
I love the people in the world because I believe "neighbor" ("love your neighbor as yourself") means anyone living on this earth.
And it hit me, that I chose to love all those people. True, I have my reasons. I have reasons that I love my family better than the random person on the street. But it isn't an uncontrollable emotion like a puffy pink cloud that can dissipate or turn into a rain cloud. And that's the difference between the love of a Christian (who has Christ's capacity for love "He first loved us" and "while we were yet sinners, He died for us") and the love of someone who "falls" in and out of love, and might not know any kind of love except love of self and romantic "love" (if it could even be called such).
This is a new idea for me, and I'm sorry if my thoughts are confusing. I'm trying.
I think on most levels, choosing to love isn't too difficult for most Christians to accept. God commanded us to love everyone, to love our brothers and sisters in the Lord, to love and respect our parents. And you choose to love them by your actions, even when you may not feel a mushy love feeling (which is how you CAN love people all the time. Everyone knows you can't force the warm and fluffy feeling).
But, for some reason, I lose people when I talk about one day choosing to love my husband. You see, I'm not waiting to fall in love with a guy; I'm waiting until God shows me a man that is a God-fearing Christian of maturing character, that I can respect and honor, and who will love me as Christ loves the church. I don't have to fall in love with him, because once God says he's the one, I will choose to love him. I suppose this sounds very cold and unromantic to some people, but I've realized that on some level, you choose who you "fall in love" with, even if you don't realize it. Personally, I think it's more romantic to deliberately choose to love someone for the rest of your life, instead of just uncontrollably "falling" in love with someone. Love that is fallen into is shallow and easy to lose. Intentional love is serious and true, and models the love that God has for us.
Love is patient (telling your brother for the fourth time in a perfectly calm voice that his shoes are actually where they're supposed to be, which is why he can't find them under the couch)
Love is kind (doing the dishes, even though it's not your turn, because everyone else is busy)
It does not envy (even though your little sister has loads of talent in all areas and you don't)
It does not boast (even though you might have actually accomplished something noteworthy!)
It is not proud (unless you're proud of someone else. ;) )
It is not rude (even though that lady ahead of you is in the express checkout with WAY more than 10 items, and you just need to buy this container of ice cream that is freezing your hands off)
It is not self-seeking (which means that you know your friend would really like an ice cream sandwich, so you give her the last one, even though you'd been dreaming about it for the past 2 hours)
It is not easily angered (whether or not you just overheard someone tell a blatant lie about you)
It keeps no record of wrong (which means that you forgive the person who told that lie about you, and then get over it)
Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth (Okay, this is the end of the examples...)
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
(And for the record, all of my examples were fictional. Don't get any saintly or unsaintly ideas about me from them...)
By the way, I actually don't like Valentine's Day. I think (and if you haven't gotten this point yet, you need to reread my post) that you should show your love all the time, and Valentine's Day is just another day for Hallmark, candy stores, flower shops and jewelry salesmen to make more money.
Here's to real love, every day, all the time. Especially when you don't feel it.
~Lizzie
Timothy's Twelfth Month!
5 years ago
3 random thoughts:
Okay, let's see...Kara was telling me about your whole "choosing to love" idea, and we talked about it a bit. Basically what I think it comes down to is that it is definitely a choice, but in reality it is a choice made without much of a question. If the man is the one God has picked out for you, then he is obviously a godly man who is respectable and honorable. So in that case, it should not be too hard to love him. Of course, there are going to be times in your long lives together that he is going to drive you crazy (as you will likewise drive him crazy). And these are the times when you may not like him very much, but choose to love him anyways. Still, that love is without a question, considering you are "stuck with him", to put it in a VERY unromantic way. But if you think about it, that is how you are with your family. Your siblings may get on your last nerve and your parents may be disagreeable sometimes, but you don't (or I don't, anyways) consciously say to yourself, "well, Joel is being SO INCREDIBLY annoying right now, but I am going to love him anyways." You just kind of go along with it, as siblings that get annoying a lot are just part of life, and usually forgiving and forgetting follow suit without anyone having to think about committing said actions. So it would be with your husband. It's not going to be a pain in the neck to choose to love him.
Still, it is like you said also: it's not the mushy feelings. I don't believe those are love anyways; there is a possibility they could constitute more as lust anyways. C. S. Lewis points out in Mere Christianity, that besides the fact that love is not mushy and butterfly feelings all the time, how could a person bear to live in that state all the time, even for a year? You can only handle so many "in-love-feelings." After a while you would throw up from all the butterflies in your stomach and have a heart attack from your heart beating too fast. But that is why so many people get divorced so quickly, because they believe love is a feeling and once the feelings are gone they assume that they have fallen out of love and that must be the end of it.....sad. :(
Very good, insightful post. I love you too, Lizzie! :D
Wow, Jessica, I like how you and Kara talk about me behind my back all the time... it makes me feel very secure. ;P
"...it should not be too hard to love him."
Maybe that's what gets everyone... like the "choice" part means that it's difficult. I just mean that I won't LET myself love him until I'm sure he's the one, and once I am sure, I will CHOOSE to love through all the difficulties, forever and ever, til death do us part.
Oh, Lizzie. We weren't talking about you behind your back. We were just talking about what you said as it pertained to our conversation.
I guess that is a good way of looking at it. You don't want to fall in love with a guy too soon, thinking he is the one, when he is only the one YOU have chosen. And by that time you are too in love with that guy to listen to God saying you are wrong. As the adage goes, "love is blind."
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