I miss being a kid. Lots of adults would probably say that I am still a kid, but that isn't true. I remember pine-cone wars and being able to play make-believe better than actors with scripts. We jumped out of swings, ran around just for the heck of it, put thousands of miles on our bikes and got completely soaked every time it rained. I remember when the biggest problem in my life was not getting my schoolwork done before lunch. When Claire turned 9, Mandy and I were worried that she'd only want to talk, just because she'd gotten older. Then we started getting scared that we'd only want to talk when we turned 9, and thought we'd be bored. (Completely missing the fact that if we *wanted* to talk, we wouldn't be bored....) We rolled down hills, played hide-and-go-seek, dressed up dolls, sold each other toys from our own "stores" with rocks for money and never understood why parents worried about things or what "stress" felt like.
Now I'm being forced into the adult world, and no matter how much I want to stay as carefree and joyful as I was at 8, all the deadlines, responsibility, and worry of adults is being thrown at me. In a lot of ways, getting older has made life a little richer. Life certainly has more dimensions. I see and understand many things that would have escaped my notice when I was younger. But while I don't want to give up this increased perception, I'm not sure that it's actually a pleasant addition to my life. When I was a kid, I thought everyone was my friend. Now I've realized that some people just don't like other people - for no apparent reason! I see frowns, hear anger, disgust and hatred; they never entered my world as a child. When I complain about life, people usually say that I feel that way just because I'm a teenager, and it gets better as an adult, but I really don't understand how life can get better without everyone going back to the innocence of childhood.
Sometimes, on warm summer days, I can feel it again: the light-hearted happiness of childhood. I run across the grass, throw my arms out and spin in circles with my face to the sun until I fall down from dizziness, and then watch the clouds. Turn cartwheels, ride my bike, roll down a hill and pretend I'm 8 again.
Timothy's Twelfth Month!
5 years ago
9 random thoughts:
*sniffle* Oh, I know Lizzie...growing up is so sad, sometimes. I long for the days when I could run around in the woods, roll around in the yard, draw pictures, play dress-up, play with beanie babies, and choreograph gymnastics routines (yes, I am also an infamous backyard cartwheeler). I guess it's the freedom I want. Nothing holds me back, nothing I've been exposed to inhibits me in anyway. My ideal age is probably 5 or 6 though. Eventually it got to a time where Amy, Katherine and I were saying to each other "we should grow up and sit around drinking tea and sewing." I detest that resolution now, especially since I never liked sewing, or embroidery, or knitting...okay, this is getting long!
Too true *sniffle part 2*...but then i never stopped being a child, so i really can't relate to that...it'll hit me some day that i'm not 5, but hopefully not yet:D
Sorry you've become an old grouch ;D
Hmm, this post is a little depressing :)
There are some things that I did when I was little that are just boring now, but I can't think of anything that I don't do anymore just because I feel that it's too undignified for my present age.
I don't think it's too undignified--I just don't have any time anymore
I see. I didn't mean to sound sarcastic or condemning, I do understand what ya'll are saying :)
gee abigail...:D
wwwwhat?
don't worry... when you get to college you'll meet lots of people doing everything possible to delay adulthood.
Delay only works mentally though. Time is still forcing everyone towards adulthood, and I imagine that all trying to delay will do is make a person mentally unprepared for the challenges that their age will eventually thrust on them.
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