... about throwing my piano up against the wall. Never mind that it's way too heavy for me, or that it's my fingers' fault that I'm making mistakes - it would be such a satisfying feeling. Or at least, I imagine it would be. When I'm sitting on the bench right after I memorized a part that I just wasn't getting.... and then mess up the memory on another part, the only thing that keeps me from loosing my sanity is envisioning my piano crashing through the wall and splintering on the patio outside. And then I immediately feel guilty. I love my piano.... I'm just horrible at playing and it drives me crazy. And the next 4 Saturdays of my life are going to be spent advertising my inadequacy.
And I doubt my negative attitude is helping, so now that I've vented my frustration .... *breathe in* *breathe out* *hum* *I am a great pianist* *hum* *I will play memorably and marvelously* *hum* *I will be pleased with my performances* *hum*
Well, it's not working yet. :P (And I don't believe that *that* will.) If anyone out there has an extra minute and feels like sending a little request to the Almighty God of heaven and earth on my behalf I'd be most appreciative. =D
Now hopefully I've learned the valuable character-building lesson that can be derived from this: Don't procrastinate. If you have 10 pieces to memorize it's best to memorize first off.
Sadly though, I don't think I've learned the lesson yet, because this is what happens to me every year before competitions.
On a happier note: I LOVE THIS WEATHER! I hate when it's freezing cold outside but we don't have any snow. This warm weather is so thrilling. Especially since it's February. It's such a rare treat. I wish it could stay...
Enjoy the weather!!
~Lizzie
Timothy's Twelfth Month!
5 years ago
4 random thoughts:
Yay, you have a blog, too! And BTW, don't tell yourself those things. From what I've witnessed, you are a beautiful pianist. I wish I was half as good as you. And if you ever feel like you want to smash your piano, please think about how upset I would be, because if you seriously want to get rid of it, you can give it to me and I will put it...??? I guess in the middle of my bedroom. That way I can crawl beneath it to get from my door to my bed. :)
NO...it should be cold in February. NOT 80 stinking degrees of fairinheight! (lol)
Jess: lol, well you didn't witness me attempting today, attempting to play pieces that I have to play in a competition TOMORROW. I did really really bad. I wish I could give you my piano, along with whatever it is that I supposedly have that makes me "good." Maybe the 9 years of lessons. lol. I'm just frustrated with myself. I have great plans about practicing and they're never accomplished.
Enil: Yes, it should be cold - but cold WITH SNOW. This pathetic winter so far has yielded only depressing coldness sadly lacking in snow. I prefer warm weather to freezing to death with no snow to enjoy as I go into hypothermia. :P
Have a little faith...They say if you believe...
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