*warning: this post might be somewhat similar to my last post, and therefore may be somewhat depressing. Do not read if you have a history of heart problems or chronic depression, and ask your doctor, etc...*
Those of you who are so unlucky as to be somewhat close to me probably know how I've been back and forth a million times about college. "I'm going. Not going. Going. Definitely not. Absolutely! Heck, no..... Sure. NO!!" (Fortunately I don't have the added worry of trying to think of where. I'm actually almost positive that IF I go to college, I want to go to Campbell University.) I feel like I've been running for my life, and I stopped to catch my breath and realized I'd been running in circles and spent all that energy for nothing. (Hey, maybe I've got some serious muscles from all that work..... =P)
And possibly worst of all, I can't think of anyone I can commiserate with because almost everyone I know (or at least everyone I've had a chance to ask) seems to have it all together. They know exactly what they want and they're going for it. I can't even run a straight line. I think I need to go back to preschool.
So when people ask me about college, do I say, "Well, I'm not even sure that I want to attend a college"? No. I'm a liar and a scaredy-cat. I have my automatic responses. As soon as those well-meaning people ask about my college plans, I rattle off my top 3 and recite my major. Campbell, Meredith and UNC-G; Piano Pedagogy. (For those of you who may not know, pedagogy is specifically for teaching private lessons, distinct from Music Education, which is teaching a music class, generally in a public or private school.)
So if I've lied to you, I apologize. For right now, I'm completely lost and confused, and I'm just going to sit here, gasping for breath in my little dust cloud and wait until I KNOW I can run straight before I get going again. Maybe I'll even try to figure out why I was running.
Three good things that have really been driven home (even deeper than before) by this time of my life are these: My God is an AWESOME God, (Thank Him!!!) He reigns, and He has given me the greatest parents ever. Even while I'm wasting my time worrying and being stressed, He's using it all for my good. Wow, just typing that was like a fresh breeze blowing away my self-created dirt cloud and lifting me back to my feet!
~Lizzie
Timothy's Twelfth Month!
5 years ago
10 random thoughts:
Wow...you have no idea how much I needed to read that. I was going to post a comment on here, but it was getting really long, so I'm posting it on my blog instead. So go read it. :)
This time I can totally relate to your sentiments! Although thankfully I've still got a couple of years before I need to really get serious about making the college decision. But I still feel goofy when every new aquaintance I meet says "Oh, are going to go to Meredith like your sister?" and I'm like, uh, dunno yet! I wish that I knew exactly what path God wants me to go down, but I trust that he'll set me on it in his good time.
How did yesterday go for ya? I don't know my grade yet
Now I do: I played in the Queen competion, and I didn't "place" but I did get a Superior!
Congratulations!! I got a Superior too. And I think my teacher said something about winning money, but she didn't say that I placed, so I'm kinda confused. =D
You are not the only one wondering how everyone else seems to have it all together!! Of course, I pretend I do, but while I suppose I excell at deceiving others, I cannot deceive myself. If you had just heard the thoughts in my head over the past week+, you would have found them quite muddled and indecipherable.
I think I might blog about this too! Then we can all feel pitiful together. It might be a while, but I'll get it out there.
In the mean time, we can carry on conversations at the pool. I was just talking to Kara about this the other day. I am quite sure she was overwelmed with all my wishy-washy thoughts!
Well, enough of me. Seeya tomorrow!
Well, it's definitely comforting that y'all all feel the same. :P
See ya tomorrow, Jess!
Congrats to you too! Money would be nice ;) I've never done Senior 2, do you have to play in a recital or go on another round, or are you totally done?
There is a recital. I don't know if everyone plays or just the 1st place winners... I can't recall. But there isn't another round.
college is great but as long as you do something valuable and continually pursue education (which can be obtained outside of a 4 year bachelors degree, imagine that)... then feel free to consider other options.
i don't think we as a society offer many good alternatives. there's the military for some, but most who go to the military do not see college as an option either academically or financially. but if you are creative you can find ways to use your talents without the college degree to "prove it".
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