Have you ever been hungry and nauseous at the same time?

I'm sitting here wrapped in a quilt, feeling hot and cold by turns. I've been in bed almost all morning, and I'm tired of laying there when it doesn't make me feel any better. I have decided to push aside polite rules and my own embarrassment to share with you something that I think everyone should know about. I won't make it as much of a TMI post as it could be, but it will definitely be more TMI than I usually am. So there's your warning.

Some girls need to know that all girls don't have their "time" as easily as they do, so that they can sympathize. Other girls need to know that they are not alone in their suffering. I used to try to suffer through, and push myself to live a normal day. I feel horribly lazy to have a "sick" day for something that healthy women are SUPPOSED to have for around 30 years of their life, but the truth is that this pain is real and it shouldn't be ignored. (Although it is also not natural, and it should be treated.)

Guys should know what this feminine "sickness" is like for girls... your mom, sister or wife will appreciate your sympathy even if she has it "easy." And if you're grossed out or don't want to hear about it, I recommend that you either never get married, or just get over it.

The medical term for it is Dysmenorrhea. Their description, however, comes nowhere near close to the excruciating pain I feel. It feels like there is a monster hand twisting and knotting my insides, and slowing pulling my insides inside-out. The slightest movement of something as remote as my toes gives causes a deepening in the pain. Breathing hurts. Lying down doesn't help much. There aren't words to describe this unique torture, so I won't try.

My whole body aches, and even without the horrific cramps, the ache would keep me from resting comfortably. My muscles feel heavy and slack. I'm shaking, and if I try to stand up, or move my head to fast, I'll get dizzy.

I'm nauseous, and I have stabbing hunger pains. From previous experience, I know that it's better to be nauseous and hungry than to eat something and then fight throwing it up. Eventually the hunger pains fade anyway... if you're hungry long enough, the hunger goes away.

If I stay active, I will eventually get a hot flash immediately followed by a cold sweat. Then the blood will drain from my face, and if I don't sit down, I will faint. I've only fainted once, fortunately.

From that point, my symptoms usually start fading. It usually only lasts a day for me, but for some it can last as long as a week.

Doctors will usually prescribe the Pill. The pill actually causes normal female fertility to temporarily cease, including menstruation. The placebo week is fake, to make users feel comfortable that they aren't completely interfering with their body's natural processes. When in actuality, they are. (Bad idea.)

Red Raspberry leaf is a natural hormone balancing herb. I've been taking it religiously for about 2 months, and it has helped a lot. It hasn't helped as much this time, but I still feel better than I usually feel. I hope that Red Raspberry is the answer, and eventually this pain will be a vague memory for me, which is why I decided to write this post while I still know what it feels like.

I hope I didn't disturb you too much, and that this was helpful for someone.

~Lizzie

Fragile dreams

All my life so far, I've looked forward to when I would finally get married and have children. It has always been my goal. Ever since I was around 10, I have planned nearly every aspect of my the life I want to have once I'm married: the kind of house I want (a cute little farm house with space for a vegetable garden and extreme amounts of flowers), the way my days will go, how many children we'll have and how we'll train our children. So far I think the only thing I left entirely up to God was the man.

It was only recently that it hit me: perhaps I am naively imagining an impossible dream. I'm just a silly girl, gazing starry-eyed into a romantic fantasy that's unmarred by reality. Eventually, my shiny, happy future will shatter like a delicate glass into 10 million pieces. The disillusionment will cast a gray hue over all my broken plans and my former hopes will be a bright mockery of the cold, hard truth.

Or maybe not. Isn't there a chance that God has planned a Godly man of character to marry me? Is it impossible for me to be a firm, but gentle, loving and disciplining mother? Am I not capable of making a lovely home for my family? Is it too much to ask that my girls have a meek and quiet spirit, with gentle feminity? That my boys be strong leaders, kind and loving to their sisters and show honesty, diligence and intelligence in everything they do? Should I not hope to one day have a joyful, loving family with obedient and thankful children, led by a hard-working spiritual man?

Could there be a lovely, simple life in my future?

~Lizzie