Lessons through pain

Well, as any readers who read this blog last year will remember, one of our cats got really sick with kidney failure and almost died. The doctors didn't think she'd make it through the night, so we went to see her thinking we were saying goodbye. But we prayed for her, and the next morning the doctors were amazed at how well she was doing. We took her home, and she started acting like her normal self... chasing her tail around, scratching on mirrors and generally making a sweet nuisance of herself.

But after a few months, she went back into a decline and died October 24. Not quite a year after getting out of the hospital.

It's amazing how much pain and stress it put our whole family through for the past year. Personally, it was a very hard time for me. I know she was "only" a cat, but she was definitely the sweetest one of our three (although also capable of being the most annoying...) and this was my first up-close experience of having to see an innocent creature suffering. I can't imagine how horrible it would be to be that close to a person suffering that severely (or worse).

It also put a good deal of strain on my relationship with God. I didn't and still don't understand why He "healed" her a year ago in the hospital just to let her suffer for another year and die of kidney failure anyway. Was it MY fault? Did I not have enough faith? Did we "undo" her healing by treating her with medication like the doctors told us to?

Or, the worst thought of all: did He heal her just to teach me all the hard lessons I learned this year watching her die?

Of the many lessons I've learned this year, the main two and the only ones I'm going to mention are these:
I've learned to trust God, no matter what. Even when it seems like there can be no possible good, I know that "all things work together for good to those who love God and are called according to His purpose." I don't have to understand what He's doing to trust Him.
The other thing I've learned is to tell God exactly what I'm feeling. He can handle my doubts, my fears, my pain, my tears and even my anger. And through difficult circumstances like these I can either turn my back on God, or use it to grow closer to him. And this life will seem so short compared to eternity that all the pain I feel in my entire life will seem less than the pain of stubbing a toe.

All these thoughts had been growing in the back of my mind, but the Jeremy Camp concert at the state fair was when it all came completely into focus and I had one of those mind-blowing moments of understanding. And that's when I finally let go of everything I'd been holding onto. Whatever else God may have done through one little cat for the rest of my family, I know He used the situation greatly in my heart, and I'm thankful. Even through the pain that I still feel, I can praise Him. He is good, and His mercy endures forever.

And even though she was just a cat, I believe Shadow is in heaven now, and I will get to see her again, just like all the Christian people that have and will get to heaven before me.

~Lizzie

Oh, the wonders of Plantain!

I was innocently yard-saling with Mom this morning (early, before we went over the JCHE conference and book sale... more on that in a bit...) and saw this lovely desk. As I wove through furniture to look at it, I suddenly felt a pain in my ankle, much like a piece of glass being stabbed into my skin, and then scraped in a circular motion underneath the skin around the stabbing point. I yelped, and bent over to brush/scrape/ANYTHING to remove the source of pain. But as I leaned over, I felt a tingling, prickling sensation all over my body, and then I realized I was sitting on the tarp that was laid out for the yard sale. The wound on my ankle was throbbing, and with each throb, it felt like I was being stabbed with the piece of glass again. At that point, I was too confused and terrified to care what it was that had bitten or stung me (I knew it wasn't actually a piece of glass) I just wanted the stabbing to stop. I was rubbing the injury unconsciously, not knowing whether it was the wise thing to do or not.

Mom located the bee, which I'd killed in frantic attempt to stop the pain. Apparently it was some sort of ground bee (the tarp was probably placed over its hive, and I was perceived as the threat) and it left a round hole in my skin, much like some sort of bite or something. It was raw, almost bleeding, and the area around it on that side of my ankle was becoming red and swollen, while a smaller, white circle was expanding around the red welt. This was, by far, the most painful bee sting I have every experienced. Regular, fuzzy, bumblebee stings are NOTHING compared to this.

I was terrified almost to hysteria to notice another such bee buzzing around me as I sat on the tarp in my bewildered pain, and I leapt to my feet and ran from the yard sale (without getting to check out the desk I was going for in the first place...). Mom followed, more sanely and looking for plantain.

Now, for those who may not know, plantain is what most Americans consider "a weed." But plantain is in fact a very useful herb, which my family uses constantly on mosquito bites, fly bites or any kind of bite or sting. It removes the poison and instantly begins to bring relief.

Unfortunately for me, however, this neighborhood appeared to be the typical American neighborhood in which everyone uses some kind of weed killer, and therefore has nothing but grass in the yards. We searched, with yard-sales in between, for possibly ten to fifteen minutes (maybe less, but it seemed like longer to me) before finally finding some in a wild area which appeared to belong to no one. At least, no one was cutting the grass, and no one was spraying weed killer. The plantain was very small, but I was so overcome with relief that I didn't care. I picked all the leaves, chewed them, and spit them on the sting.

That may sound disgusting, but you try getting stung by a ground bee and see what you'll do to ease the pain.

We continued yard-saling, and every time I saw more plantain, I'd pick it, chew it up and add it to my poultice.


The leaves aren't very well chewed up here. Mostly because I was too anxious to get them on my ankle, but also because they don't taste that great. This picture includes the first and second doses. The first dose was barely enough to cover the welt. The second dose covered the red, swollen area. At this point I was feeling well enough to think of blogging and taking pictures, which I think relieved Mom.

A little later, we were going close by our house anyway, so we stopped to pick a BUNCH of plantain (which I chewed VERY well), and apply it along with plastic wrap and an Ace bandage (just to hold it in place) so that I could yard sale some more instead of just sitting in the car while Mom shopped.

And wouldn't you know it... after all those weeks of me wearing an Ace bandage because I actually sprained my ankle, the first time a stranger says, "Oh, did you sprain your ankle?" I'm caught unawares, and end up blabbering something about a bee sting and "stuff" to "help it." Why didn't they ask when I could just answer a simple, "Yes"?

So anyway. I survived and Mom and I made it over to the conference. I hung out with Daddy and the boys until the late afternoon at the table promoting Christian Community Sports... featuring a poster board of pictures and info put together by Sarah and me... designed by Sarah... and almost all the pictures are pictures Sarah took. I was just the unworthy, completely in-artistic assistant, who cut tape and stuck it to the back of pictures and paper for Sarah to place. Pictures coming soon! =P

And now, I should have been in bed a long time ago, because we have the Greater Raleigh Championship Meet tomorrow, and I need my sleep.

~Lizzie