Life in general...

I haven't had much time for lengthy blog posts... it seems that short little things on Facebook get more response anyway. ;) But, even if it's just for myself, I like to keep some track of what's going on in my life. So, on my plate for this year:

-Teaching my 12 piano students
-Taking piano and voice myself
-Theatre and broadway dance
-Swimming

Some of my goals are to continue to improve my cooking, and thriftiness. To help with my money management and budgeting, I'm paying for all of my activities, buying my dad's car from him (and he's looking for a "new" car) and paying for my own personal spending from my own earnings. If I can't pay for it, I can't afford it.

I'm still trying to go to bed earlier, and get up earlier. I've also been trying to get up early enough to have a Bible study time in the morning. Abigail wrote an inspiring post about the importance of starting the day just a few days after I'd been feeling that waiting until the evening wasn't a good idea for me, and that gave me the extra nudge I needed. I can't get up and instantly start reading though, so I give myself some time to wake up so I can devote my attention to reading and prayer.

It feels weird being in something of an in-between phase; since I've graduated from high school, but am not planning on going to college. I am apprenticing with my piano teacher, learning as much as I can about teaching, and teaching my own students, focusing on some home-making skills for the future if I get married and continuing my interest in theatre arts, plus widening my musical attempts into voice. And I'm even trying to include some higher level "school" type study in. I'm excited, but also a little intimidated, since this is the first time in my life that I haven't had an "end" in sight: like the end of high school. There is no longer any sort of time-line that I can see. Suddenly, life feels bigger and more adventuresome.

~Lizzie

This too, shall pass...

So far this year that has been coming up a lot in my thoughts. As my senior year, and the senior year of many of my friends, I've been realizing that a lot of changes are coming. It's a feeling of dread and premonition, but also of excitement and mystery. It's sad, because I can never go back, but also happy, because I am moving forward into the future with hopeful prospects.

I've been trying to enjoy every "last" moment, like my last swim meet on a team with my siblings. Actually, swimming has mostly been my only "lasts" because other than aging out, my life isn't changing much. It just feels like it is. And that's what I think has called my notice to the thought: that this moment will eventually be gone. In the day to day, something as simple as laughing with my siblings over something funny or watching a beautiful sunset while taking a family stroll down our dirt road, I'll suddenly be struck with the thought that life will not always be like this. We're growing up, getting older and changing. Eventually, we will move out, get married, have kids ourselves and eventually die. And that, for us as Christians, is only the beginning, so I won't get all depressing here.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that this year has taught me to enjoy every second to the fullest. This moment will never be here again. If you knew that you had one chance to try the most decadent and delicious dessert ever; that you would get only one bite, and you'd have to live with that taste of it as your only experience of that dessert for the rest of your life, imagine how you would savor it. Now imagine every moment of your life is a new and delicious dessert, and you only get one taste. Enjoy.

The End of 2009

It is usually the practice at the end of a year to reflect on the past year, see what you wish you could change and then come up with appropriate "New Year's Resolutions" to help you towards that goal of a "better you." Or something like that. I have given up on New Years Resolutions because anything associated with New Years Resolutions is inevitably given up before the end of January.

I reflect on the past year, and look forward to the New Year. I also think of things that I hope to have accomplished by the END of the next year; rather than some repetitive task that I must do every day or fail, I come up with more long term goals, and strive to be as diligent as I can in completing or following them.

Last year, my list was:

Long-term Goals for the year:
Get on a better sleep schedule. (I kinda did... for a few months. It hasn't been successful since Thanksgiving, though. Something to continue in the next year!)

Improve my cooking skills, especially in areas that I don't enjoy. (This was definitely successful, especially since the goal was to "improve" not "become a world-famous chef" but also something I will continue to focus on)

Find some way of earning income. (I have 3 piano students, and it's earning me enough to cover some of my expenses. If I end up an old maid, I would likely make enough money to at least not be a burden to my parents, and hopefully enough to support them if necessary... still looking into other possibilities though.)

Improve my singing ability. (Um, no. Not really. I feel closer to confident in my ability to harmonize... a little.)

One-time projects:
Finish redecorating the bathroom. (No... not a good idea financially.)

Finish setting up my sewing area. (Yes!)

Finish sewing the shirts Kara, Jess and I began last year. (No... but that should be taken off, because it's not MY fault! I keep waiting for both of them to be available at the same time... I'm beginning to wonder how we found the time to start them in the first place! =P )

Get my bookcases organized and neat. (I did clean off several disgusting "inspirational" romance novels that I picked up at the library booksale - $5 for a huge box. My goodness, the stuff that passes for "Christian" fiction nowadays... but not the thorough organization and elimination I was hoping for. That will be continued.)

Begin the skirt I've been wanting to make. (No. I've made several other things with fabric that we already happened to have, so I think I'll wait on the skirt until I find just the right fabric on sale...)

So, for 2010, my goals are:

Long-term:

Better sleep schedule
Improve cooking
Improve singing
Improve general house cleanliness


One-time projects:
Clean off bookcase
Make a layered cake
Make Regency dress


I've also been thinking about unavoidable things coming up in 2010... such as the approach of my 19th birthday. I'm terrified of 19. Turning 16 felt like a milestone, but it was still young. One of my friends was convinced that we were "old" when we turned 17 in June 2008. 18 should be scary, as legal adulthood, but for some reason 19 is the age that I've been dreading.

I'll be graduating from highschool... FINALLY! And beginning my self-study "college" work. If I attend college, I will probably begin in the fall of 2011.

Also, it will be my last summer competing in swimming. I'm hoping to achieve some times that will be a good "end" to my swimming, even though I will, of course, continue to swim. The times I get this summer will probably be the fastest times I will ever get in my life, so I want to make them good ones!

Since turning 19 is definitely inescapable, I've decided to look forward to it, along with everything else the year will hold! I'm excited to see what God will do in the next year.

Thoughts on Forgiveness

As a child, I was compelled by my parents to ask forgiveness for offenses committed against my siblings. I was very rebellious, and usually repeated the required phrase in as saucy and sarcastic a tone as I could get away with. The make-up hug and kiss were harder to skew, but I did my best. A sad comparison to me, all of my siblings were much better at asking forgiveness, and giving it when I was forced to ask for it. However, my parents' training paid off even on their most rebellious and defiant child, and now even I earnestly try to forgive and apologize for my own wrongs whenever the Spirit prompts me... and when I know good and well that I need to... (not that I'm perfect at that or anything...)

Recently I've been pondering how important forgiveness and humble apologies are for any relationship. Christians can get angry, say hurtful things, hold onto grudges or nurse wounded feelings just like others, but if we allow ourselves to be humbled, sincerely apologize, and forgive the other person whether or not they apologize themselves, we could easily save a badly damaged relationship. I don't know about everyone else, but when someone hurts me, it is very hard for me to forgive them before they apologize... I do, and have, and will, but when they come to me and honestly apologize, it is as if the incident had never happened, and sometimes accepted apologies and renewed forgiveness create an even stronger bond than the one that was strained by the hurt.

I used to think that this verse applied only to angelic people who were never angered, and who could keep peace before an argument even started. I wrote myself off as being incapable of being a peacemaker when I was very young. Now I think that being a peacemaker has nothing to do with whether or not you started the problem, but whether or not you are willing to do everything you can to make it right later.
"Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God." -Matthew 5:9

Thoughts like this I store up my "mental" hope chest... every time I put it into practice in my current life, I am, of course, trying to heal my relationships with my family members, but I am also storing up experience for married life. I think I have no false delusions about how very often I will need these peace-making skills...

~Lizzie