Randomness

Whenever someone finds out that I'm homeschooled, the first question they usually ask is, "Do you like it?" with the inflection in their voice making it sound as if they were asking if I liked eating dirt. I always answer in something of a shocked tone. "Yes, of course I like it!" I mean, who wouldn't like not having to get up at 5 to go to a building full of teenagers and a few adults trying to keep their sanity, keep order and cram information into unwilling heads? Instead, I get up with a full night's sleep, eat a leisurely breakfast with my family, do school work at my own pace (actually learning something!) and then head off to swimming/theatre/dance/voice.... where I get plenty of socialization with my friends. The weekends are nice, but I'm certainly not dreading the return of the weekdays like most public-school kids do.

So, I was just musing about how my perception of time has changed. I remember about 12 years ago, on the day after my 5th birthday, I couldn't wait to be 6. (I'm not sure why.) So I asked my mom, "How many days til I'm 6?" And she told me that since my birthday was only yesterday, it was another whole year. And I was devastated. That was like forever. But now, 12 years later, it doesn't even seem that long ago. Now I understand what my parents meant when they said, "Time flies." That used to confuse me so bad. I wonder what changed. Time isn't going any faster than it ever did, but it feels like it is. Perhaps the difference is that when you look back, you remember the good times. And, you know, "time flies when you're having fun."

~Lizzie

*sniffle*

I just went outside.... and it felt just like numerous other days that we've spent at our summer pool..... earlier today was soooo hot, we all would have been alternating between lounging in the pool and breaking the limit of 3 people in the concession stand. We would have had hotdogs for lunch.... and when it started to rain we'd all hang out in the clubhouse eating drumsticks (the ice cream variety) around the ping-pong table.

Now is when we'd be going back in the pool, diving off the boards and playing Five-A-Live and water basketball. We'd finally get out of the pool at 8:20; 20 minutes after closing, and gather our stuff to go home, refreshed, water-logged and ready to come back tomorrow.

It's not really all the water that I'm missing (although it has been terribly hot) but the fellowship and all the time spent hanging out. We got so much closer as friends and as a team during the summer, it's just not the same now. We see each other 4 times a week, but we show up, swim and leave. I'm really looking forward to our fun meet (we split into 2 teams and have a meet with the parents team) I hope it'll be like a little taste of what summer means to me.

~Lizzie

I'm blank...

I just can't think of a title. So whatever.

Practice was really fun and easy today..... which was nice.

On the way home though..... we ran into some stand-still traffic and that went on for about 2 miles.... creeping along. Then actually stopping. Then creeping along some more..... when we finally arrived at the problem, we discovered ---- a cop car, parked in the left-most lane. Another cop car was on the shoulder, and a barely damaged and completely empty blue car was sitting on the shoulder also. I guess we were supposed to assume that there was a wreck?? It look pretty bad for the cop who was parked IN THE ROAD and causing a huge traffic issue though. He was on his laptop... I hope he wasn't surfing YouTube.

I feel like there was something else I was going to say, but I can't think of what it was.... Oh, yeah. Something about enjoying today and not rushing time. Time will sometimes go too slow, and sometimes too fast, just remember to live in the moment that you're in. I think kids spend too much time straining forwards, and adults have a tendency to look back. Us young adults.... well, we're caught in the middle, looking forwards and backwards. Now is the time that you looked forward to when you were little, and the time that you'll look back on when you're older. Enjoy it, and live it to the fullest. I'm not crazy about Steven Curtis Chapman, but I really like some of his songs, and this is the chorus of one:

Breathe it in, breathe it out
Listen to your heartbeat
There's a wonder in the here and now
It's right there in front of you, and
I don't want you to miss
The miracle of the moment

~Lizzie

The good ol' days.....

I miss being a kid. Lots of adults would probably say that I am still a kid, but that isn't true. I remember pine-cone wars and being able to play make-believe better than actors with scripts. We jumped out of swings, ran around just for the heck of it, put thousands of miles on our bikes and got completely soaked every time it rained. I remember when the biggest problem in my life was not getting my schoolwork done before lunch. When Claire turned 9, Mandy and I were worried that she'd only want to talk, just because she'd gotten older. Then we started getting scared that we'd only want to talk when we turned 9, and thought we'd be bored. (Completely missing the fact that if we *wanted* to talk, we wouldn't be bored....) We rolled down hills, played hide-and-go-seek, dressed up dolls, sold each other toys from our own "stores" with rocks for money and never understood why parents worried about things or what "stress" felt like.

Now I'm being forced into the adult world, and no matter how much I want to stay as carefree and joyful as I was at 8, all the deadlines, responsibility, and worry of adults is being thrown at me. In a lot of ways, getting older has made life a little richer. Life certainly has more dimensions. I see and understand many things that would have escaped my notice when I was younger. But while I don't want to give up this increased perception, I'm not sure that it's actually a pleasant addition to my life. When I was a kid, I thought everyone was my friend. Now I've realized that some people just don't like other people - for no apparent reason! I see frowns, hear anger, disgust and hatred; they never entered my world as a child. When I complain about life, people usually say that I feel that way just because I'm a teenager, and it gets better as an adult, but I really don't understand how life can get better without everyone going back to the innocence of childhood.

Sometimes, on warm summer days, I can feel it again: the light-hearted happiness of childhood. I run across the grass, throw my arms out and spin in circles with my face to the sun until I fall down from dizziness, and then watch the clouds. Turn cartwheels, ride my bike, roll down a hill and pretend I'm 8 again.