Gossip and Flirting

Some sins are obvious, and very black and white. At least in the Christian understanding. Or maybe I should just say that they've always appeared so to me. For example, I've always known that any sort of deception was a lie, and little white lies are still lies. Stealing, even if it was just an M&M from a sibling, is still stealing. And so on, and so forth. But two sins I've never quite figured out (and some might say that flirting isn't a sin anyway, but for the purposes of my discussion let's just assume it is).

I will start with gossip. Merriam-Webster dictionary defines "gossip" as:
Function: noun
2 a: rumor or report of an intimate nature

To relate sometimes questionable or secret information of a personal nature
Synonyms: blab, talk, tattle
Related Words: bandy (about), circulate, noise (about), rumor; disclose, divulge, reveal, tell; hint, imply, insinuate, intimate, let on, suggest; inform, report, snitch, squeal, tip (off); babble, spill; confide

A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret. - Proverbs 11:13

A perverse man stirs up dissension, and a gossip separates close friends. - Proverbs 16:28

A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid a man (or woman, naturally) who talks too much. - Proverbs 20:19 (parentheses mine)

Without wood a fire goes out; without gossip a quarrel dies down. - Proverbs 26:20

My dad has told me that gossip is "saying something negative about a person for the purpose of lowering that person in other people's opinion."

The four Bible verses I have shared say that a gossip "betrays a confidence" (twice), "separates close friends" and "without gossip a quarrel dies down."

So, using all that information above, my conclusion is lengthy. Gossip is anything:
Maliciously negative
Betraying a confidence (secret)
Causing a division between friends
Fueling a quarrel
Questionable of a personal nature

You really have to use a measure of your own discretion, and in cases such as these it is certainly better to err on the side of silence.

Flirting has been more difficult for me to determine for myself, and is certainly something that is harder to conclude.

Once again, the Merriam-Webster definition:
Flirting
function: verb
2 a: to behave amorously without serious intent: to show superficial or casual interest or liking

To show a liking for someone of the opposite sex just for fun
Synonyms: dally, frivol, trifle
Related Words: josh, kid, put on, razz, rib, tease; fool, lead on, string along; play (with), toy (with)

The LORD says, "The women of Zion are haughty, walking along with outstretched necks, flirting with their eyes, tripping along with mincing steps, with ornaments jingling on their ankles." - Isaiah 3:16

My dad has told me that I should just treat guys like I would any friend, and as nothing more. But I've always wondered if teasing a guy is flirting, even if I would say the same thing to a girl? According to Merriam-Webster "tease" is a related to flirting (see above), but is that all sorts of teasing, or a particular kind? To emphasize my point, here is the definitions of "tease."

3 a: to disturb or annoy by persistent irritating or provoking especially in a petty or mischievous way
b: to annoy with petty persistent requests
c: to persuade to acquiesce especially by persistent small efforts
d: to manipulate or influence as if by teasing
e: to make fun of
5: to tantalize especially by arousing desire or curiosity often without intending to satisfy it

Number five, when arousing an impure "desire or curiosity", is obviously part of the more evil type of flirting, but what about all the others? I enjoy employing a bit of harmless and kindly-meant teasing every now and then, especially with my friends who take it well.

I guess what I've been trying to do with this post is figure out for myself what I think is wrong and right. I believe I have never said anything that could be construed as flirtatious or gossipy that I wouldn't have my parents hear, but sometimes I wonder if I merely comfort my guilt with that thought, instead of considering if my behavior really meets God's approval.

You may be wondering that I didn't come to a conclusion about flirting, and that is because I am still pondering it. But my final thought is that what mostly constitutes gossip and flirting comes from your heart, and if your heart is pure and listening to God, then pure behavior will naturally follow, even if your purity looks different from someone else's.

I'm not sure why I'm sharing all this. I guess I'm just one of those people who makes any musing or thought public in hopes that someone will offer encouraging advice, constructive criticism, or possibly, even gain some insight for themselves. If nothing else, writing it all out has certainly helped me organize my thoughts, and I would love hearing anything my readers have to say.

~Lizzie

Living Sacrifice

"I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God."

~Romans 12:1-2

"...that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice..."

Recently I have decided that it is much more difficult to be a living sacrifice than to die a sacrifice. Obviously I wouldn't actually know, because I have never died. But recently I had begun envying the martyrs who got to die for our Lord. Sometimes this life is so painful, I really don't know if I want to keep on living. However, God has apparently decided that, at least for this moment, that He will be glorified by my continuing to live on this earth. Anyway, I don't know if that's actually what that verse means, but it makes sense to me and it encouraged me.

"...but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God."

And when I am happy with living, it seems I don't do anything right. I confess, sometimes it seems I'm just too busy to take time to really pray and concentrate on reading my Bible, when I know it's just that I'm not MAKING time. Like right this second, instead of writing this pointless blog post that's really only benefiting me by organizing my own thoughts...
So anyway, that would be the renewing of my mind... praying, reading the Bible, and absorbing what I've read. And according to this verse, that will prove the good, acceptable and perfect will of God. Which I admit I've been kinda doubting lately.

There, my two new favorite Bible verses.

~Lizzie